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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Top Ten Good Things About Turning 58
  
Guests are no longer offended when I fall asleep.
People telling me I look like an "older Alan Greenspan".
I am now an honorary junior "60 Minutes" correspondent.
Memory loss makes dated comedy material seem new and fresh.
The staff got me a subscription to large-print "Penthouse".
Memory loss makes dated comedy material seem new and fresh.
Great excuse to do 58 shots of Jager, dude!
This morning, I got a kiss from the toll booth guy.
I'm halfway to 116.
Instead of "Go screw yourself," staffers now say "Go screw yourself, grandpa!"
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Sorry, no Top Ten Extras!

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