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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Top Ten Surprises In President Bush's Prime-Time Address
  
Claimed he had plan to win war, then switched on the bat signal
Kept talking about how Scientology changed his life
Ten minutes of policy, 20 minutes of Karaoke
Imploring all Americans to support Joey McIntyre in the next episode of "Dancing with the Stars"
It was basically a 50-minute infomercial for new George Bush grill
Spent 15 minutes looking at himself in the monitor
Most of speech was devoted to his fourth of July deviled egg recipe
Revealed he'll soon be giving uncensored weekly addresses on sirius satellite radio
Midway through, he got engaged to Tom Cruise
Finished up by asking if Kerry still wanted the gig
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