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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Stupid Human Tricks; Jake Gyllenhaal; and Brand New. PLUS: The Academy Awards; Biff’s recap; the Late Show Prize Wheel; and Small Town News.
ACT 1
During the pre-show Q&A, a teacher in the audience asked Dave what was his favorite class in school. After some consideration, Dave answered, “metal shop.” But there was an English class he enjoyed that was taught by a student teacher who filled out a sweater quite nicely.
And because of metal shop, Dave learned about sal ammoniac, which he has long since forgotten.
Sal ammoniac - A slightly hygroscopic, white crystalline compound, NH4Cl, used in dry cells, as a soldering flux, and as an expectorant.
Did you watch the Academy Awards Sunday night? It’s getting stranger and stranger. Dave has a clip to show what he means. Announcer: “Coming up next on the 79th Annual Academy Awards, a salute to those who are no longer with us. Is Mickey Rooney finally dead? Find out after this message from Clairol.”
BIFF HENDERSON’S ACADEMY AWARDS RECAP: We find Biff outside in the chilled New York air surrounded by snow. Biff: “So, Al Gore’s global warming film wins an Academy Award? Well, Al can kiss my frozen ass!”
We got snowballs! Dave has a bucket of Official New York City Snowballs. He tosses a few at the backdrop behind him and then Paul’s way. This inspires a fun game . . . Throw A Snowball Into Bruce Kapler’s Saxaphone!
SMALL TOWN NEWS The Cornwall Local (Cornwall, New York): “Police Blotter. A caller who did not leave his name told police that there were two male subjects dressed in chicken suits in vehicle on Angola Road doing obscene things.
The Times-News (Twin Falls, Idaho): “Wanted to buy. Wife wrecked car. Need new one! (Car, not wife.)”
The St. Petersburg Times (St. Petersburg, Florida): Here’s an interesting twist on a DUI arrest: “As deputies ran a license check on Wells, one heard the sound of a pop-top popping. Wells was getting a fresh beer, deputies said.”
The Houston Post (Houston, Texas): “Two Baytown plumbers who inserted a flare into a gas line to check for a leak were injured Wednesday when it exploded.”
The Banner (Bernice, Louisiana): “Sunday night, February 11, the Gospel Sounds Quartet will be in concert.” -- the photo shows six guys in the quartet.
The Sun (Trenton, Illinois): Here’s an ad for Clinton Manor Living Center: “We focus on living life to its fullest.” --- slow zoom on the elderly gentleman in the ad --- he is sound asleep.
The Molokai Dispatch (Kaunakakai, Hawaii): “Molokai Subway Restaurant owner arrested for trafficking. Editor’s note: If convicted of the crime, Aniban would have to see roughly 2.3 million 12-inch club combos to pay the maximum fine.”
The Arizona Republic: Here’s a Help Wanted ad with an unusual approach: “Are you looking to pay off some bills or buy that new ear?”
Dave starts making jokes about buying a new ear. It reminded me of Johnny Paycheck’s song, “Colorado Kool-Aid.”
The Lovell Chronicle (Lovell, Wyoming): “Sheriff’s report. A driver reported that two or three juveniles had egged his truck as he drove through Crowley. He wanted the officer to locate the boys and ‘scare the s**t out of them.’”
The Cabinet (Milford, New Hampshire): “Richard Darling retired from the Hollis Police Department in 2005 after 22 years. ‘I’ve wrestled my last drunk,’ he said.”
The Tracy Press (Tracy, California): “’What is the best Valentine’s Day gift you ever received?’ Nathan Ramey replied, ‘Probably my wife coming home from prison.’”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush: “I think I saw one spittin’ in a can.”
From his bucket of snowballs, Dave again attempts to toss one into Bruce Kapler’s saxophone.
ACT 2 STUPID HUMAN TRICKS Erin Barilski – from Naples, Florida. She is an artist focusing on jewelry design
and tends bar in a café. And she has cufflinks for Dave.
What can Erin do? She can do a split and then hop around on the floor. Erin
performs her stunt quite admirably. Dave suggests, “That’ll help sell the
jewelry.” Brian Berg of Cape Coral, Florida. The tall man is a mailing list broker, you know, he sells our name to companies who then send us junk mail. What is Brian deal? He can stop a ceiling fan with his tongue. I guess we all can, but only some of us are willing to try. We have a ceiling fan lowered from the ceiling. The thin cable is twisted which makes the fan go all haywire. I could picture the guy stopping the fan with his tongue, but not before getting a haircut and a Van Gogh. Once the fan is fixed, Brian ascends a ladder and sticks his tongue out. The fan hits tongue and eventually comes to a stop. Nice trick, but with his taste buds destroyed, everything tastes like oatmeal. Travis Puckett of Mansfield. Travis is a carpenter who can also bite off the top of a beer can. Big deal. Most carpenters I know can do that, too. Travis takes the can of Budweiser and rips off the entire top with his teeth like a pit bull. He then quickly guzzles the remaining contents. I’m sure he’s won a lot of barroom bets doing that.
And that was Stupid Human Tricks.
ACT 3
Back from commercial, we see the beer can trick one more time in slow motion. It was done so quickly that Dave missed it. His back was turned for just a second and it was done. Says Dave; “That’s the story of my life. I wasn’t paying attention. The party started without me.”
JAKE GYLLENHAAL: From the film, Zodiac, opening Friday. Jake has been in Morocco shooting a film. It’s a beautiful place but it’s kind of like “the land of free-floating parasites.” Jake had to get lots of shots before heading over. He ended up getting more than he needed but once they started the shots, Jake decided to keep it coming. Afterwards, he went back home, and this may be a bit psychosomatic, but he started shivering and feeling extremely cold. He kept muttering, “I am so cold. Why am I so cold?” He then realized it was because he wasn’t wearing any clothes. Sounds like he had one shot too many.
Jake recently went on a family vacation with his family, his sister, and her in-laws, to a lodge up in the country. He was wakened one night to see the nearby lodge on fire, the very one the rest of his family was staying. He ran to help get them out. Everybody was safe, but Jake found it odd what each person took as they ran out of the burning lodge. His mother, an Academy Award nominated screenwriter, left her laptop which contained a just finished script on a desk but took two necklaces. Her dad grabbed an empty suitcase. Her sister’s future mother-in-law only took a robe. And then each admitted to not wearing any underwear.
Jake’s Zodiac opens Friday. It’s based on the real life case of the Zodiac Killer whose spree through the San Francisco area terrorized people for years.
ACT 4 LATE SHOW PRIZE WHEEL GIVEAWAY – it’s time to give back. Our audience has been very supportive over the years and Dave thought it is time to thank them. This was the inspiration for the creation of the "Late Show" Prize Show Giveaway. Alan tell us what is on the Prize wheel tonight.
- a 5-inch LCD TV
- a Sony PlayStation 3
- $1,000
The scrim rises to find Pat Farmer standing beside the Late Show Prize Wheel. He gives is a spin and the wheel goes ‘round and ‘round; where it’ll stop, no one knows. It goes ‘round and ‘round . . . and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round. Hmmm. It doesn’t seem to be stopping. Pat informs Dave, “I think it’s busted.” Yeah, it’s busted. Well, we tried. Better luck next time. The scrim comes down and that’s that. Dave offers to Pat before he goes away, “Try stopping it with your tongue!”
ACT 5
Still spinning, it’s the "Late Show" Prize Wheel backstage.
ACT 6 BRAND NEW: From their new CD, “The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me,” Brand New performed “Jesus.” Perfect for the Lenten season.
During the commercial break, I wondered about the music from Paul and the CBS Orchestra. I only spent a second wondering but if I dwelled on it a bit longer it would have been obvious. The music the band was playing: From the Stylistics, “You Make Me Feel Brand New,” in connection with the band “Brand New.”
And that was our show for Monday February 26, 2007.
I lost the e-mail. Someone asked what song Paul played following the Jim Carrey segment last week. It was The Brothers Johnson’s “Strawberry Letter 23”, although the lyrics contain “Strawberry Letter 22.”
ACADEMY AWARDS RECAP: I like to form my opinion about the show before I read what I should think in newspapers.
I liked Ellen DeGeneres, probably because I like Ellen DeGeneres. Many jokes made me smile, a few made me chuckle, which is a lot for me. She was harmless, which was also fine with me.
I liked the shadow people behind the screen. It was done quickly and was visually entertaining.
And there weren’t too many times throughout the night that I heard myself say, “Oh, shut up already!”
Should the winners be thanking all the industry people they thank? The winners made those people a whole lot of money the past year . . . that’s thanks enough. I would rather hear them thank moms and dads and teachers and family and their neighborhood friends who liked them even when they weren’t rich and famous.
Best Supporting Actress – I thought this category was usually at the beginning of the night, but I suspect that it was placed later in the show to keep the “American Idol” fans tuned in for the “yes or no” for Jennifer Hudson.
It’s probably just my imagination, but a few times when I looked at Ellen DeGeneres I saw Jane Fonda’s and Lauren Hutton’s eyes.
If the Academy Awards were over after two hours, I would have won the "Late Show" Oscar Pool. I nailed the sound, animation, makeup and editing categories. I didn’t do too well in the big-point categories.
Oh, and forget about the commercials during the Super Bowl . . . I thought last night’s commercials were so much more entertaining and creative.
And I think Jack Nicholson got more air time than Ellen DeGeneres.
We had snow Sunday night. The local schools called for a two-hour delay for Monday. The announcement was made an hour before the start of the Academy Awards on Sunday night. Hmmm, sounds like whoever made the call for the two-hour delay wanted to stay up and watch the whole show.
Are snow-blowers really all that good? I like the shovel. I see my neighbor with the loud, noisy, snow-blower pushing and shoving and pulling the thing back and forth slowly making progress. And there is always an inch of snow left on the driveway. I use the same shovel I have been using for 20 years now, one with a crooked handle. No bending at all. My method for shoveling the driveway is to first shovel a path down the center. I then push half the snow to the left, half to the right; never having to bend once.
I know we all have our favorite “sport” to follow, but this business of going on and on about what the celebrities at the Oscars are wearing is mind-numbingly dumb. Hours and hours of media attention --- what they’re wearing, how they look, too fat, too skinny --- oh, and then try to tell your daughter that looks aren’t important; that smarts are more important than looks. Yeesh.
And now it’s time for “Another One of My Ideas That Will Never Get On The Show”.
The TacoBell/KFC restaurant in NYC that is infested with rats had passed inspection the day before the video was shot. We have the health inspector here to explain what happened. A guy dressed as Colonel Sanders enters: “I saw nothing wrong.” Exits.
This concludes another installment of “Another One of My Ideas That Will Never Get On The Show”.
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
An expert of Princess Kay of the Milky Way, from St. Paul, Minnesota, it’s Mike Reif.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Stupid Human Tricks; Jake Gyllenhaal; and Brand New. PLUS: The Academy Awards; Biff’s recap; the Late Show Prize Wheel; and Small Town News.
ACT 1
During the pre-show Q&A, a teacher in the audience asked Dave what was his favorite class in school. After some consideration, Dave answered, “metal shop.” But there was an English class he enjoyed that was taught by a student teacher who filled out a sweater quite nicely.
And because of metal shop, Dave learned about sal ammoniac, which he has long since forgotten.
Sal ammoniac - A slightly hygroscopic, white crystalline compound, NH4Cl, used in dry cells, as a soldering flux, and as an expectorant.
Did you watch the Academy Awards Sunday night? It’s getting stranger and stranger. Dave has a clip to show what he means. Announcer: “Coming up next on the 79th Annual Academy Awards, a salute to those who are no longer with us. Is Mickey Rooney finally dead? Find out after this message from Clairol.”
BIFF HENDERSON’S ACADEMY AWARDS RECAP: We find Biff outside in the chilled New York air surrounded by snow. Biff: “So, Al Gore’s global warming film wins an Academy Award? Well, Al can kiss my frozen ass!”
We got snowballs! Dave has a bucket of Official New York City Snowballs. He tosses a few at the backdrop behind him and then Paul’s way. This inspires a fun game . . . Throw A Snowball Into Bruce Kapler’s Saxaphone!
SMALL TOWN NEWS The Cornwall Local (Cornwall, New York): “Police Blotter. A caller who did not leave his name told police that there were two male subjects dressed in chicken suits in vehicle on Angola Road doing obscene things.
The Times-News (Twin Falls, Idaho): “Wanted to buy. Wife wrecked car. Need new one! (Car, not wife.)”
The St. Petersburg Times (St. Petersburg, Florida): Here’s an interesting twist on a DUI arrest: “As deputies ran a license check on Wells, one heard the sound of a pop-top popping. Wells was getting a fresh beer, deputies said.”
The Houston Post (Houston, Texas): “Two Baytown plumbers who inserted a flare into a gas line to check for a leak were injured Wednesday when it exploded.”
The Banner (Bernice, Louisiana): “Sunday night, February 11, the Gospel Sounds Quartet will be in concert.” -- the photo shows six guys in the quartet.
The Sun (Trenton, Illinois): Here’s an ad for Clinton Manor Living Center: “We focus on living life to its fullest.” --- slow zoom on the elderly gentleman in the ad --- he is sound asleep.
The Molokai Dispatch (Kaunakakai, Hawaii): “Molokai Subway Restaurant owner arrested for trafficking. Editor’s note: If convicted of the crime, Aniban would have to see roughly 2.3 million 12-inch club combos to pay the maximum fine.”
The Arizona Republic: Here’s a Help Wanted ad with an unusual approach: “Are you looking to pay off some bills or buy that new ear?”
Dave starts making jokes about buying a new ear. It reminded me of Johnny Paycheck’s song, “Colorado Kool-Aid.”
The Lovell Chronicle (Lovell, Wyoming): “Sheriff’s report. A driver reported that two or three juveniles had egged his truck as he drove through Crowley. He wanted the officer to locate the boys and ‘scare the s**t out of them.’”
The Cabinet (Milford, New Hampshire): “Richard Darling retired from the Hollis Police Department in 2005 after 22 years. ‘I’ve wrestled my last drunk,’ he said.”
The Tracy Press (Tracy, California): “’What is the best Valentine’s Day gift you ever received?’ Nathan Ramey replied, ‘Probably my wife coming home from prison.’”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush: “I think I saw one spittin’ in a can.”
From his bucket of snowballs, Dave again attempts to toss one into Bruce Kapler’s saxophone.
ACT 2 STUPID HUMAN TRICKS Erin Barilski – from Naples, Florida. She is an artist focusing on jewelry design
and tends bar in a café. And she has cufflinks for Dave.
What can Erin do? She can do a split and then hop around on the floor. Erin
performs her stunt quite admirably. Dave suggests, “That’ll help sell the
jewelry.” Brian Berg of Cape Coral, Florida. The tall man is a mailing list broker, you know, he sells our name to companies who then send us junk mail. What is Brian deal? He can stop a ceiling fan with his tongue. I guess we all can, but only some of us are willing to try. We have a ceiling fan lowered from the ceiling. The thin cable is twisted which makes the fan go all haywire. I could picture the guy stopping the fan with his tongue, but not before getting a haircut and a Van Gogh. Once the fan is fixed, Brian ascends a ladder and sticks his tongue out. The fan hits tongue and eventually comes to a stop. Nice trick, but with his taste buds destroyed, everything tastes like oatmeal. Travis Puckett of Mansfield. Travis is a carpenter who can also bite off the top of a beer can. Big deal. Most carpenters I know can do that, too. Travis takes the can of Budweiser and rips off the entire top with his teeth like a pit bull. He then quickly guzzles the remaining contents. I’m sure he’s won a lot of barroom bets doing that.
And that was Stupid Human Tricks.
ACT 3
Back from commercial, we see the beer can trick one more time in slow motion. It was done so quickly that Dave missed it. His back was turned for just a second and it was done. Says Dave; “That’s the story of my life. I wasn’t paying attention. The party started without me.”
JAKE GYLLENHAAL: From the film, Zodiac, opening Friday. Jake has been in Morocco shooting a film. It’s a beautiful place but it’s kind of like “the land of free-floating parasites.” Jake had to get lots of shots before heading over. He ended up getting more than he needed but once they started the shots, Jake decided to keep it coming. Afterwards, he went back home, and this may be a bit psychosomatic, but he started shivering and feeling extremely cold. He kept muttering, “I am so cold. Why am I so cold?” He then realized it was because he wasn’t wearing any clothes. Sounds like he had one shot too many.
Jake recently went on a family vacation with his family, his sister, and her in-laws, to a lodge up in the country. He was wakened one night to see the nearby lodge on fire, the very one the rest of his family was staying. He ran to help get them out. Everybody was safe, but Jake found it odd what each person took as they ran out of the burning lodge. His mother, an Academy Award nominated screenwriter, left her laptop which contained a just finished script on a desk but took two necklaces. Her dad grabbed an empty suitcase. Her sister’s future mother-in-law only took a robe. And then each admitted to not wearing any underwear.
Jake’s Zodiac opens Friday. It’s based on the real life case of the Zodiac Killer whose spree through the San Francisco area terrorized people for years.
ACT 4 LATE SHOW PRIZE WHEEL GIVEAWAY – it’s time to give back. Our audience has been very supportive over the years and Dave thought it is time to thank them. This was the inspiration for the creation of the "Late Show" Prize Show Giveaway. Alan tell us what is on the Prize wheel tonight.
- a 5-inch LCD TV
- a Sony PlayStation 3
- $1,000
The scrim rises to find Pat Farmer standing beside the Late Show Prize Wheel. He gives is a spin and the wheel goes ‘round and ‘round; where it’ll stop, no one knows. It goes ‘round and ‘round . . . and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round. Hmmm. It doesn’t seem to be stopping. Pat informs Dave, “I think it’s busted.” Yeah, it’s busted. Well, we tried. Better luck next time. The scrim comes down and that’s that. Dave offers to Pat before he goes away, “Try stopping it with your tongue!”
ACT 5
Still spinning, it’s the "Late Show" Prize Wheel backstage.
ACT 6 BRAND NEW: From their new CD, “The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me,” Brand New performed “Jesus.” Perfect for the Lenten season.
During the commercial break, I wondered about the music from Paul and the CBS Orchestra. I only spent a second wondering but if I dwelled on it a bit longer it would have been obvious. The music the band was playing: From the Stylistics, “You Make Me Feel Brand New,” in connection with the band “Brand New.”
And that was our show for Monday February 26, 2007.
I lost the e-mail. Someone asked what song Paul played following the Jim Carrey segment last week. It was The Brothers Johnson’s “Strawberry Letter 23”, although the lyrics contain “Strawberry Letter 22.”
ACADEMY AWARDS RECAP: I like to form my opinion about the show before I read what I should think in newspapers.
I liked Ellen DeGeneres, probably because I like Ellen DeGeneres. Many jokes made me smile, a few made me chuckle, which is a lot for me. She was harmless, which was also fine with me.
I liked the shadow people behind the screen. It was done quickly and was visually entertaining.
And there weren’t too many times throughout the night that I heard myself say, “Oh, shut up already!”
Should the winners be thanking all the industry people they thank? The winners made those people a whole lot of money the past year . . . that’s thanks enough. I would rather hear them thank moms and dads and teachers and family and their neighborhood friends who liked them even when they weren’t rich and famous.
Best Supporting Actress – I thought this category was usually at the beginning of the night, but I suspect that it was placed later in the show to keep the “American Idol” fans tuned in for the “yes or no” for Jennifer Hudson.
It’s probably just my imagination, but a few times when I looked at Ellen DeGeneres I saw Jane Fonda’s and Lauren Hutton’s eyes.
If the Academy Awards were over after two hours, I would have won the "Late Show" Oscar Pool. I nailed the sound, animation, makeup and editing categories. I didn’t do too well in the big-point categories.
Oh, and forget about the commercials during the Super Bowl . . . I thought last night’s commercials were so much more entertaining and creative.
And I think Jack Nicholson got more air time than Ellen DeGeneres.
We had snow Sunday night. The local schools called for a two-hour delay for Monday. The announcement was made an hour before the start of the Academy Awards on Sunday night. Hmmm, sounds like whoever made the call for the two-hour delay wanted to stay up and watch the whole show.
Are snow-blowers really all that good? I like the shovel. I see my neighbor with the loud, noisy, snow-blower pushing and shoving and pulling the thing back and forth slowly making progress. And there is always an inch of snow left on the driveway. I use the same shovel I have been using for 20 years now, one with a crooked handle. No bending at all. My method for shoveling the driveway is to first shovel a path down the center. I then push half the snow to the left, half to the right; never having to bend once.
I know we all have our favorite “sport” to follow, but this business of going on and on about what the celebrities at the Oscars are wearing is mind-numbingly dumb. Hours and hours of media attention --- what they’re wearing, how they look, too fat, too skinny --- oh, and then try to tell your daughter that looks aren’t important; that smarts are more important than looks. Yeesh.
And now it’s time for “Another One of My Ideas That Will Never Get On The Show”.
The TacoBell/KFC restaurant in NYC that is infested with rats had passed inspection the day before the video was shot. We have the health inspector here to explain what happened. A guy dressed as Colonel Sanders enters: “I saw nothing wrong.” Exits.
This concludes another installment of “Another One of My Ideas That Will Never Get On The Show”.
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
An expert of Princess Kay of the Milky Way, from St. Paul, Minnesota, it’s Mike Reif.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Academy Awards Death Roundup • Biff Henderson's Academy Awards Recap • Dave Throws Snowballs • Small Town News • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
