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THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Stupid Pet Tricks; Rosie Perez; and Dr. Dog. PLUS:Al Gore’s New Book; Fleet Week; the Reagan Diaries; an Apple Computer Commercial; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; and New Shows This Fall.
“ . . . and now, this year’s big winner at Cannes.... David Letterman!”
ACT 1
Two more entries for my Odd Dave file. I keep a file on “Odd Dave” moments because the writers are so often looking for such a clip. Tonight we had Dave at the monologue mark pretending to be drinking and smoking, saying “Hey, how’s your Chihuahua?”
And then at the desk, he screams in desperation, “I was in the 3rd grade! What is wrong with you? Can’t you see I’m suffering?”
Al Gore has a new book that just came out yesterday entitled, “The Assault on Reason.” Dave was leafing through it earlier today and found something a bit odd in the “About the Author” section. It’s a photo of Al Gore dumping chemicals from a drum. The caption reads, “In his free time, Al earns extra money dumping toxins for Dow Chemicals.”
Today marks the beginning of Fleet Week here in New York City. For the benefit of any sailors we may have in our audience tonight, we’ve prepared something to make them feel at home. The camera show sways to a 45 degree angle to the left and then sweeps to a 45 degree angle to the right, and then again, and then again. And then again. It felt like we were a sail on a ship. And any longer and I think I may have gotten sick.
We’ll be right back right after this message from Apple Computers.
We go to commercial. It’s one of those Apple Computer commercials. We see Chris Elliott as the Mac. We see Gerry Mulligan as the PC. The snooty Mac computer guy is bragging about all the memory he has. The PC says, “Oh, in that case, you’ll remember this.” The PC guy knees the Mac in the groin. The Mac falls to the ground in pain. The PC is proud.
Yes, we’ve seen this one before, but it’s a commercial! You always see commercials more than once.
“The Reagan Diaries” were published this week and it is full of fascinating stuff. As a public service, we decided to show some of the very interesting features from the audio version. Announcer: “January 20th, 1981: Nancy and I went to nine inaugural balls tonight. I drank so much champagne that on the way back to the White House, I asked the driver to pull over so I could take a leak in the Potomac. This has been an excerpt from ‘The Reagan Diaries.’”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES – We see FDR. We see JFK. We see President Bush: “Jeb and I had some crabs with the 1972 Dolphins . . . Dan Marino and his . . . . . really dynamic wife . . . . TV stars . . . Andy Garcia . . .”
ACT 2 NEW SHOWS FOR FALL – we have here the complete lineup for the new shows this fall.
SEAT MATES
THURSDAYS AT 10:00 ON ABC. A COUPLE (FREDDIE PRINZE JR. AND NANCY TRAVIS) MEET, FALL IN LOVE AND MARRY WHILE ON A GROUNDED JETBLUE FLIGHT.
DAM IT!
SATURDAYS AT 9:00 ON CBS. THE JOB’S HARD ENOUGH FOR THE MAINTENANCE CREW AT THE HOOVER DAM---BUT NOW THEY ALSO HAVE TO CONTEND WITH THE OBNOXIOUS GHOST OF PRESIDENT HOOVER!
LARGE & IN CHARGE
MONDAYS AT 8:30 ON CBS. WHEN CUTTHROAT BUSINESSMAN JOHN GOODMAN TAKES OVER THE LOCAL BIG-AND-TALL MEN’S SHOP, THE SASSY EMPLOYEES TEACH HIM THAT EVEN A LARGE MAN CAN HAVE A LOT OF GROWING UP TO DO.
40 WINKS
MONDAYS AT 10:00 ON HBO. SAVING THE WORLD IS ESPECIALLY DIFFICULT FOR NARCOLEPTIC CIA AGENT ROB REYNOLDS, WHO MUST FIGHT THE URGE TO FALL ASLEEP WHILE PURSUING TERROR SUSPECTS.
POPE KID!
THURSDAYS AT 9:00 ON FOX. THE VATICAN WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AFTER A LITTLE-KNOWN PROVISION OF CANON LAW KICKS IN, INSTALLING 7-YEAR OLD MAX COOPER AS THE PONTIFF.
DYING OF HUNGER
TUESDAYS AT 8:00 ON THE CW. AFTER FLUNKING OUT OF CULINARY SCHOOL, THE ONLY JOB ASPIRING CHEF JOEL PHELPS (MATT LEBLANC) CAN FIND IS PREPARING LAST MEALS FOR CONDEMNED PRISONERS.
MANGUANA
SATURDAYS AT 8:00 ON FOX. A NEW SUPERHERO (DAVID MORSE) WHO IS HALF-MAN, HALF-IGUANA, ARRIVES ON THE SCENE TO BATTLE EVIL-DOERS AND HIS ARCH-NEMESIS, WEASEL-BOY (FRED SAVAGE)
THANK GOD IT’S…TUESDAY?!
FRIDAYS AT 8:00 ON TNT. THIS EERIE “WHAT IF” DRAMA IMAGINES A PARALLEL UNIVERSE IN WHICH THE JULIAN CALENDAR REVERSES TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS.
WOLFPACK
WEDNESDAYS AT 9:30 ON FX. CRIMINALS BEWARE: THERE’S NEVER BEEN A PAIR OF CRIME-FIGHTERS LIKE WOLF BLITZER AND PAUL WOLFOWITZ! –UNTIL NOW!
W.R.
SUNDAYS AT 10:00 ON FOX. A GRITTY MEDICAL DRAMA CENTERED AROUND A LARGE METROPOLITAN HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM.
TIP OF MY TONGUE
SATURDAYS AT 10:00 ON NBC. IN THIS CRIME DRAMA, MAVERICK DETECTIVE LARRY BECK (TOM SELLECK) SOLVES COLD CASES BY LICKING LONG-OVERLOOKED EVIDENCE.
HEAD OVER HEELS
FRIDAYS AT 9:00 ON TV LAND. IN THE YEAR 2017, A BEAUTIFUL DOCTOR REVIVES THE FROZEN REMAINS OF TED WILLIAMS, BUT WILL HER ULTRA-CONSERVATIVE FAMILY APPROVE OF HER ROMANCE WITH A DISEMBODIED HEAD?
FED-EXES
TUESDAYS AT 10:00 ON LIFETIME. SITUATION COMEDY STARRING TEA LEONE AND TED DANSON AS FORMER HUSBAND AND WIFE WHO FIND THEMSELVES WORKING AT THE SAME FED EX SORTING FACILITY
LAST SUPPER
SUNDAYS AT 8:00 ON THE LEARNING CHANNEL. FORMER DENNY’S WAITRESSES REMINISCE ABOUT THE FINAL MEALS THEY SERVED BEFORE THEY QUIT.
BAR NUN
WEDNESDAYS AT 8:00 ON THE HALLMARK CHANNEL. ROSIE O’DONNELL PLAYS A TOUGH-TALKING CLERGYWOMAN WHO RAISES EXTRA MONEY FOR HER ORPHANAGE BY MOONLIGHTING AS THE BOUNCER AT THE NEIGHBORHOOD’S TOUGHEST PUB.
BORDER IN THE COURT
TUESDAYS AT 8:00 ON A&E. WHEN A PAPERWORK ERROR ACCIDENTALLY MAKES REX THE BORDER COLLIE A JUDGE, LITTLE DO THE LOCALS KNOW THAT HE’LL DISPENSE HIS OWN FORM OF UNCONVENTIONAL BUT WISE JUSTICE.
And that’s the new shows coming your way this fall.
ACT 3 STUPID PET TRICKS 1. Theresa Carden
Pet: Roswell, a bearded collie 6 yrs old
Props: Frisbees
From Buffalo, NY
Trick: Roswell collects Frisbees, stacking them in his mouth as he goes
Theresa distributes the Frisbees on the floor of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Roswell makes an attempt to pickup some of the Frisbees but decides he has better things to do. A sudden case of stage fright envelopes Roswell and he wants out. Roswell drags Theresa out through the guest entrance.
Dave checks with our producers to make sure we had the right dog for this trick. Was there a mix up? No, we had the right dog. Did we screen the dog before flying him out here? We did and the dog had been very successful in the past in picking up Frisbees. . . . . just not so tonight.
2. Cerena Zutis
Pet: Little Guy, border collie / terrier cross
Hometown: San Francisco, CA. Cerena invents pet products. One very successful item on the market right now is “The Click and Lick.” Google “The Click and Lick” to find out more.
Props: Tablecloth, book, plate, cookies
Trick: Little Guy will stay still while Cerena places the tablecloth and other items on his head.
Can Dave help? Cerena considers the offer for a moment and then offers a brisk, “No.”
Little Guy sits. Cerena puts a table cloth over Little Guy’s head. His head pops through a pre-cut hole. Cerena then places a small plate on Little Guy’s head and then a can of Coca Cola on the plate. The can balances perfectly. And then Little Guy rocks just a bit and the can falls. Cerena quickly straightens the “table.” I suggested she put a matchbook under one of Little Guy’s paws. Once the table is rebalanced, cookies are added to the plate. And there’s your doggie table.
#3. Sonya Wolf and Chloe Meeks
Pet: Boo, border collie
From Penn Valley and Napa Valley.
Props: Ropes
Trick: Boo double-dutch jump ropes.
And indeed, Boo successfully double dutches. Nice job. I always wanted to try Double-Dutch but never had the opportunity. I think I’ll get my girls to learn it. It’s a parent thing to do. Since I can’t do it, I’ll get my kids to do it whether they want to or not.
And that was our Stupid Pet Tricks for tonight.
ACT 4, 6 ROSIE PEREZ: Dave asks how she’s enjoying the spring. Rosie seems a bit surprised that it’s still spring. She’s in summer mode. But it’s spring. Doesn’t spring bring the sense of renewal, a sense of being reborn? Rosie simply says, “No.” She says she’s more of a winter person. She loves winter sports, but is no good at any of them.
Dave admires the fit stature of Rosie. She’s fit. She’s radiant. She’s happy.
Has there been a change in lifestyle? She smiles and says there has been a change . . . “Yeah . . . you know . . . there’s been a change . . . . a lot of it . . . and I’m very happy.”
I’m not sure what she had done.
And then she tells a story about making a movie in L.A. and the actor bit her on the ass. It involved a fight scene. He flipped her over and got inspired. Dave says he can imagine. He left a bite mark. And that’s all I got on that.
We just had Stupid Pet Tricks. Does Rosie have pets? Does she like animals? Rosie is a big animal lover. She owns two dogs. And she loves to ride horses. Where does she ride? There’s a place to ride in Prospect Park in Brooklyn but she doesn’t ride there. And she could ride in Central Park but she doesn’t ride there either. Dave asks, “Where else don’t you ride?” Rosie laughs and says she likes to ride in New Jersey. She can’t explain why but she just likes to ride horses in New Jersey.
Rosie is very proud of the independent film she directed about Puerto Rico, entitled “Yo Soy Boricua, Pa’que Tu Lo Sepas!”, meaning “I’m Boricua, Just So You Know.” It comes out on DVD on June 5th.
ACT 5 Announce: “Hey, America, are you ready to laugh? Well then, log on to the Late Show website for the ‘Tony Mendez Show.’ Tune in for the all-new episode: ‘The Interns’ Revenge.’ Just go to www.cbs.com/lateshow. You’ll be glad you did. We’ll be right back.
ACT 7 DR. DOG: From their CD, “We All Belong,” Dr. Dog performed the surprisingly catchy tune “My Old Ways.” I liked it. The kids were oddly fun. I’ll be giving the CD a full listen.
And that was our show for Wednesday May 23, 2007.
Al Gore’s next book – His memoirs, entitled “The Assault on the Fridge” . . . am I right, people?!
More things that bother me: Before my drive home the other night, I stopped off and picked up two slices of pizza to go. I paid with a $20 bill. The cost of the two slices: $5.09. Now the $5 for the two slices, believe it or not, I can live with. I have no problem with that. It’s the 9 cents that irks me. I gave them the $20 and made a note not to come back here again. How dare they charge $5 and then another 9 cents. They should adjust the price so the cost of the two slices plus tax should come to $5 even. But no. At Ray’s Pizza on Broadway it came to $5.09. And when I gave the twenty, the woman at the register says, “Do you have a dime?” I said I did not without checking. She rolls her eyes and sighs. I tell her, “Hey, you’re the one tacking on the 9 cents.” It made no dent in her and she didn’t really care. She just didn’t want to work and have to count out 14 dollars and 91 cents. Yeah, well I was inconvenienced, too. And then she hands me my change; the coins resting on top of the bills like it was a big balancing act. What’s the deal with that? It takes the customer two hands to accept the change when it is delivered this way. And every cashier does that these days. Shouldn’t it be coins first and then bills? It’s so much easier to shove in your pocket that way.
Anyway, the experience at Ray’s was upsetting and it’s just another place I will not be frequenting anymore. $5.09 . . . sheesh.
I was watching the local morning news. The weather guy comes on. He’s standing in front of the map of the Hudson Valley. On the map is 10 towns with their current temperatures. He recites each town. The difference between the coldest temperature and the warmest temperature of these ten towns was 3 degrees. Was it really necessary to announce all ten towns? I then it hit me. The weather guy was doing a “Miss Louise” of Romper Room. At the end of “Romper Room,” Miss Louise would hold up a magic mirror so she could “see” you at home. She would say, “And I see Michael, and I see Thomas, and I see Susan, and I see Clara” etc. Kids would always hope she would say their name. And this weather guy was doing the same thing, except with towns. Adults sit at home hoping weather guy Rob Eisenson of Channel 12 News says their hometown of Monsey or Mt. Kisco or Bedford or Nanuet. I’m sure focus groups have learned that full grown adults like to hear their town mentioned on the weather report. In reality, it’s just a huge waste of time; time which could be put to better use in the 22 minutes of news.
And now more useless information from “The Book of Useless Information.”
- The average adult spends about twelve minutes in the shower
- The average four-year-old child asks more than 400 questions a day
- The average person keeps old magazines for 29 weeks before throwing them out
- The average person speaks about 31,500 words per day
- The average person spends about two years on the phone in a lifetime
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
“Six two and even, over and out.”
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Spring Valley, New York, it’s Connie Koines.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Stupid Pet Tricks; Rosie Perez; and Dr. Dog. PLUS:Al Gore’s New Book; Fleet Week; the Reagan Diaries; an Apple Computer Commercial; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; and New Shows This Fall.
“ . . . and now, this year’s big winner at Cannes.... David Letterman!”
ACT 1
Two more entries for my Odd Dave file. I keep a file on “Odd Dave” moments because the writers are so often looking for such a clip. Tonight we had Dave at the monologue mark pretending to be drinking and smoking, saying “Hey, how’s your Chihuahua?”
And then at the desk, he screams in desperation, “I was in the 3rd grade! What is wrong with you? Can’t you see I’m suffering?”
Al Gore has a new book that just came out yesterday entitled, “The Assault on Reason.” Dave was leafing through it earlier today and found something a bit odd in the “About the Author” section. It’s a photo of Al Gore dumping chemicals from a drum. The caption reads, “In his free time, Al earns extra money dumping toxins for Dow Chemicals.”
Today marks the beginning of Fleet Week here in New York City. For the benefit of any sailors we may have in our audience tonight, we’ve prepared something to make them feel at home. The camera show sways to a 45 degree angle to the left and then sweeps to a 45 degree angle to the right, and then again, and then again. And then again. It felt like we were a sail on a ship. And any longer and I think I may have gotten sick.
We’ll be right back right after this message from Apple Computers.
We go to commercial. It’s one of those Apple Computer commercials. We see Chris Elliott as the Mac. We see Gerry Mulligan as the PC. The snooty Mac computer guy is bragging about all the memory he has. The PC says, “Oh, in that case, you’ll remember this.” The PC guy knees the Mac in the groin. The Mac falls to the ground in pain. The PC is proud.
Yes, we’ve seen this one before, but it’s a commercial! You always see commercials more than once.
“The Reagan Diaries” were published this week and it is full of fascinating stuff. As a public service, we decided to show some of the very interesting features from the audio version. Announcer: “January 20th, 1981: Nancy and I went to nine inaugural balls tonight. I drank so much champagne that on the way back to the White House, I asked the driver to pull over so I could take a leak in the Potomac. This has been an excerpt from ‘The Reagan Diaries.’”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES – We see FDR. We see JFK. We see President Bush: “Jeb and I had some crabs with the 1972 Dolphins . . . Dan Marino and his . . . . . really dynamic wife . . . . TV stars . . . Andy Garcia . . .”
ACT 2 NEW SHOWS FOR FALL – we have here the complete lineup for the new shows this fall.
SEAT MATES
THURSDAYS AT 10:00 ON ABC. A COUPLE (FREDDIE PRINZE JR. AND NANCY TRAVIS) MEET, FALL IN LOVE AND MARRY WHILE ON A GROUNDED JETBLUE FLIGHT.
DAM IT!
SATURDAYS AT 9:00 ON CBS. THE JOB’S HARD ENOUGH FOR THE MAINTENANCE CREW AT THE HOOVER DAM---BUT NOW THEY ALSO HAVE TO CONTEND WITH THE OBNOXIOUS GHOST OF PRESIDENT HOOVER!
LARGE & IN CHARGE
MONDAYS AT 8:30 ON CBS. WHEN CUTTHROAT BUSINESSMAN JOHN GOODMAN TAKES OVER THE LOCAL BIG-AND-TALL MEN’S SHOP, THE SASSY EMPLOYEES TEACH HIM THAT EVEN A LARGE MAN CAN HAVE A LOT OF GROWING UP TO DO.
40 WINKS
MONDAYS AT 10:00 ON HBO. SAVING THE WORLD IS ESPECIALLY DIFFICULT FOR NARCOLEPTIC CIA AGENT ROB REYNOLDS, WHO MUST FIGHT THE URGE TO FALL ASLEEP WHILE PURSUING TERROR SUSPECTS.
POPE KID!
THURSDAYS AT 9:00 ON FOX. THE VATICAN WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AFTER A LITTLE-KNOWN PROVISION OF CANON LAW KICKS IN, INSTALLING 7-YEAR OLD MAX COOPER AS THE PONTIFF.
DYING OF HUNGER
TUESDAYS AT 8:00 ON THE CW. AFTER FLUNKING OUT OF CULINARY SCHOOL, THE ONLY JOB ASPIRING CHEF JOEL PHELPS (MATT LEBLANC) CAN FIND IS PREPARING LAST MEALS FOR CONDEMNED PRISONERS.
MANGUANA
SATURDAYS AT 8:00 ON FOX. A NEW SUPERHERO (DAVID MORSE) WHO IS HALF-MAN, HALF-IGUANA, ARRIVES ON THE SCENE TO BATTLE EVIL-DOERS AND HIS ARCH-NEMESIS, WEASEL-BOY (FRED SAVAGE)
THANK GOD IT’S…TUESDAY?!
FRIDAYS AT 8:00 ON TNT. THIS EERIE “WHAT IF” DRAMA IMAGINES A PARALLEL UNIVERSE IN WHICH THE JULIAN CALENDAR REVERSES TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS.
WOLFPACK
WEDNESDAYS AT 9:30 ON FX. CRIMINALS BEWARE: THERE’S NEVER BEEN A PAIR OF CRIME-FIGHTERS LIKE WOLF BLITZER AND PAUL WOLFOWITZ! –UNTIL NOW!
W.R.
SUNDAYS AT 10:00 ON FOX. A GRITTY MEDICAL DRAMA CENTERED AROUND A LARGE METROPOLITAN HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM.
TIP OF MY TONGUE
SATURDAYS AT 10:00 ON NBC. IN THIS CRIME DRAMA, MAVERICK DETECTIVE LARRY BECK (TOM SELLECK) SOLVES COLD CASES BY LICKING LONG-OVERLOOKED EVIDENCE.
HEAD OVER HEELS
FRIDAYS AT 9:00 ON TV LAND. IN THE YEAR 2017, A BEAUTIFUL DOCTOR REVIVES THE FROZEN REMAINS OF TED WILLIAMS, BUT WILL HER ULTRA-CONSERVATIVE FAMILY APPROVE OF HER ROMANCE WITH A DISEMBODIED HEAD?
FED-EXES
TUESDAYS AT 10:00 ON LIFETIME. SITUATION COMEDY STARRING TEA LEONE AND TED DANSON AS FORMER HUSBAND AND WIFE WHO FIND THEMSELVES WORKING AT THE SAME FED EX SORTING FACILITY
LAST SUPPER
SUNDAYS AT 8:00 ON THE LEARNING CHANNEL. FORMER DENNY’S WAITRESSES REMINISCE ABOUT THE FINAL MEALS THEY SERVED BEFORE THEY QUIT.
BAR NUN
WEDNESDAYS AT 8:00 ON THE HALLMARK CHANNEL. ROSIE O’DONNELL PLAYS A TOUGH-TALKING CLERGYWOMAN WHO RAISES EXTRA MONEY FOR HER ORPHANAGE BY MOONLIGHTING AS THE BOUNCER AT THE NEIGHBORHOOD’S TOUGHEST PUB.
BORDER IN THE COURT
TUESDAYS AT 8:00 ON A&E. WHEN A PAPERWORK ERROR ACCIDENTALLY MAKES REX THE BORDER COLLIE A JUDGE, LITTLE DO THE LOCALS KNOW THAT HE’LL DISPENSE HIS OWN FORM OF UNCONVENTIONAL BUT WISE JUSTICE.
And that’s the new shows coming your way this fall.
ACT 3 STUPID PET TRICKS 1. Theresa Carden
Pet: Roswell, a bearded collie 6 yrs old
Props: Frisbees
From Buffalo, NY
Trick: Roswell collects Frisbees, stacking them in his mouth as he goes
Theresa distributes the Frisbees on the floor of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Roswell makes an attempt to pickup some of the Frisbees but decides he has better things to do. A sudden case of stage fright envelopes Roswell and he wants out. Roswell drags Theresa out through the guest entrance.
Dave checks with our producers to make sure we had the right dog for this trick. Was there a mix up? No, we had the right dog. Did we screen the dog before flying him out here? We did and the dog had been very successful in the past in picking up Frisbees. . . . . just not so tonight.
2. Cerena Zutis
Pet: Little Guy, border collie / terrier cross
Hometown: San Francisco, CA. Cerena invents pet products. One very successful item on the market right now is “The Click and Lick.” Google “The Click and Lick” to find out more.
Props: Tablecloth, book, plate, cookies
Trick: Little Guy will stay still while Cerena places the tablecloth and other items on his head.
Can Dave help? Cerena considers the offer for a moment and then offers a brisk, “No.”
Little Guy sits. Cerena puts a table cloth over Little Guy’s head. His head pops through a pre-cut hole. Cerena then places a small plate on Little Guy’s head and then a can of Coca Cola on the plate. The can balances perfectly. And then Little Guy rocks just a bit and the can falls. Cerena quickly straightens the “table.” I suggested she put a matchbook under one of Little Guy’s paws. Once the table is rebalanced, cookies are added to the plate. And there’s your doggie table.
#3. Sonya Wolf and Chloe Meeks
Pet: Boo, border collie
From Penn Valley and Napa Valley.
Props: Ropes
Trick: Boo double-dutch jump ropes.
And indeed, Boo successfully double dutches. Nice job. I always wanted to try Double-Dutch but never had the opportunity. I think I’ll get my girls to learn it. It’s a parent thing to do. Since I can’t do it, I’ll get my kids to do it whether they want to or not.
And that was our Stupid Pet Tricks for tonight.
ACT 4, 6 ROSIE PEREZ: Dave asks how she’s enjoying the spring. Rosie seems a bit surprised that it’s still spring. She’s in summer mode. But it’s spring. Doesn’t spring bring the sense of renewal, a sense of being reborn? Rosie simply says, “No.” She says she’s more of a winter person. She loves winter sports, but is no good at any of them.
Dave admires the fit stature of Rosie. She’s fit. She’s radiant. She’s happy.
Has there been a change in lifestyle? She smiles and says there has been a change . . . “Yeah . . . you know . . . there’s been a change . . . . a lot of it . . . and I’m very happy.”
I’m not sure what she had done.
And then she tells a story about making a movie in L.A. and the actor bit her on the ass. It involved a fight scene. He flipped her over and got inspired. Dave says he can imagine. He left a bite mark. And that’s all I got on that.
We just had Stupid Pet Tricks. Does Rosie have pets? Does she like animals? Rosie is a big animal lover. She owns two dogs. And she loves to ride horses. Where does she ride? There’s a place to ride in Prospect Park in Brooklyn but she doesn’t ride there. And she could ride in Central Park but she doesn’t ride there either. Dave asks, “Where else don’t you ride?” Rosie laughs and says she likes to ride in New Jersey. She can’t explain why but she just likes to ride horses in New Jersey.
Rosie is very proud of the independent film she directed about Puerto Rico, entitled “Yo Soy Boricua, Pa’que Tu Lo Sepas!”, meaning “I’m Boricua, Just So You Know.” It comes out on DVD on June 5th.
ACT 5 Announce: “Hey, America, are you ready to laugh? Well then, log on to the Late Show website for the ‘Tony Mendez Show.’ Tune in for the all-new episode: ‘The Interns’ Revenge.’ Just go to www.cbs.com/lateshow. You’ll be glad you did. We’ll be right back.
ACT 7 DR. DOG: From their CD, “We All Belong,” Dr. Dog performed the surprisingly catchy tune “My Old Ways.” I liked it. The kids were oddly fun. I’ll be giving the CD a full listen.
And that was our show for Wednesday May 23, 2007.
Al Gore’s next book – His memoirs, entitled “The Assault on the Fridge” . . . am I right, people?!
More things that bother me: Before my drive home the other night, I stopped off and picked up two slices of pizza to go. I paid with a $20 bill. The cost of the two slices: $5.09. Now the $5 for the two slices, believe it or not, I can live with. I have no problem with that. It’s the 9 cents that irks me. I gave them the $20 and made a note not to come back here again. How dare they charge $5 and then another 9 cents. They should adjust the price so the cost of the two slices plus tax should come to $5 even. But no. At Ray’s Pizza on Broadway it came to $5.09. And when I gave the twenty, the woman at the register says, “Do you have a dime?” I said I did not without checking. She rolls her eyes and sighs. I tell her, “Hey, you’re the one tacking on the 9 cents.” It made no dent in her and she didn’t really care. She just didn’t want to work and have to count out 14 dollars and 91 cents. Yeah, well I was inconvenienced, too. And then she hands me my change; the coins resting on top of the bills like it was a big balancing act. What’s the deal with that? It takes the customer two hands to accept the change when it is delivered this way. And every cashier does that these days. Shouldn’t it be coins first and then bills? It’s so much easier to shove in your pocket that way.
Anyway, the experience at Ray’s was upsetting and it’s just another place I will not be frequenting anymore. $5.09 . . . sheesh.
I was watching the local morning news. The weather guy comes on. He’s standing in front of the map of the Hudson Valley. On the map is 10 towns with their current temperatures. He recites each town. The difference between the coldest temperature and the warmest temperature of these ten towns was 3 degrees. Was it really necessary to announce all ten towns? I then it hit me. The weather guy was doing a “Miss Louise” of Romper Room. At the end of “Romper Room,” Miss Louise would hold up a magic mirror so she could “see” you at home. She would say, “And I see Michael, and I see Thomas, and I see Susan, and I see Clara” etc. Kids would always hope she would say their name. And this weather guy was doing the same thing, except with towns. Adults sit at home hoping weather guy Rob Eisenson of Channel 12 News says their hometown of Monsey or Mt. Kisco or Bedford or Nanuet. I’m sure focus groups have learned that full grown adults like to hear their town mentioned on the weather report. In reality, it’s just a huge waste of time; time which could be put to better use in the 22 minutes of news.
And now more useless information from “The Book of Useless Information.”
- The average adult spends about twelve minutes in the shower
- The average four-year-old child asks more than 400 questions a day
- The average person keeps old magazines for 29 weeks before throwing them out
- The average person speaks about 31,500 words per day
- The average person spends about two years on the phone in a lifetime
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
“Six two and even, over and out.”
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Spring Valley, New York, it’s Connie Koines.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Al Gore's New Book with Al Dumping Toxins • Salute to Fleet Week with Rocking Shot of Dave • Chris Elliott's Mac vs. PC Commercial • The Reagan Diaries • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Mary Barclay Spotted a Rat Backstage • New TV Shows
