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Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Show #2808
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
Black | White


President Bill Clinton; and Patti Scialfa.
PLUS: Someone From the Balcony; Bush in Iraq; Senator Craig; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; and How We Prepared for Bill Clinton.

“ . . and now, a man whose presidential campaign has raised over 85 million dollars . . . . David Letterman!

ACT 1
During the pre-show Q&A, a guy in the balcony told Dave he is here on his 50th birthday and wished for 2 things:
Dinner for 3 someplace.
That he can get a photo of him and Dave.
Dave calls the guy down to take the photo. Afterwards, Dave makes a note: “Close balcony.”

Dave saw an interesting announcement regarding President Bush’s trip to Iraq. We take a look.
Announce: “While on his way to Australia, President Bush made a detour to Iraq. Why a 6-hour layover in Iraq on a flight from Washington to Australia? We had nothing to do with it. (shot of a JetBlue plane) JetBlue – Still on the tarmac.”

This Senator Larry Craig story has already had some odd repercussions. Says Dave, “Apparently, there is a bathroom code . . . and if you know the code, suddenly there’s a party. . . . . I don’t know.” Did you see this strange commercial?
Announce: “The scandal involving Senator Larry Craig has conveyed the notion that soliciting sex in airport men’s rooms is sleazy and disgusting. Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport is changing all that with our newly-upgraded Romantic Hideaway Restrooms! We make anonymous encounters special with thoughtful details, like scented candles, complimentary champagne, even heart-shaped toilet seats. Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport --- When You’re In The Mood.”

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES:
We see Harry S Truman.
We see Dwight D. Eisenhower.
We see George W. Bush: “I want to spend some time talking about security in this country . . . .(nothing) . . .”

ACT 2
HOW WE PREPARED FOR BILL CLINTON
- in honor of the special night, wear my best hairpiece (ding)
- since it’s a special show, prepare really funny comedy (buzz)
- cut back on the pre-show cocktails (buzz)
- impress guests by memorizing dance moves from ‘High School Musical 2” (ding)
- ask Rupert Jee to prepare a special Bill Clinton deli platter (see Rupert with a platter of meat and cheese made to look something like Bill Clinton) (ding)
- dress up the crew in Hillary’s old pantsuits (cut to stagehands and carpenters in Hillary’s old pantsuits) (ding)
- prepare to pitch the President an idea for a chain of restaurants called “Bill & Dave’s Shrimp Shack Family Restaurant” (ding)
- bring in the best audience we’ve had all year (ding – big cheer)
- Have we had the staff frisked by Secret Service? (vt – ding)
- Have the Ed Sullivan Theater rats been frisked by Secret Service? (vt – ding)
- Did we bring in the guy who kinds of looks like President Clinton to mingle with fans outside before the show? (vt – ding)
- And did we have Secret Service keep our announcer Alan Kalter in line? (cut to Alan. We see a Secret Service guy pummel our cherry-topped announcer.)
And that’s just some of what we did to prepare for Bill Clinton.

ACT 3
PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON: I know a lot of hardcore conservative Republicans and they all say the same . . . . . “I hate Democrats, but . . . .. damn! I can’t get myself to hate Bill Clinton!” They get so angry at themselves for being unable to build up a good dislike for the guy.
Has Clinton ever considered running as VP on his wife’s ticket? Could that happen? Clinton answers (taken from Drudge)

Clinton: “I don’t believe so. There are some people who believe it can, and they have contorted readings of the amendment, the 22nd Amendment. But I believe as a matter of general interpretation, you’re supposed to read all the Constitution including all the Amendments as if they were written almost on the same day at the same moment, so they’re consistent with one another. And the Constitution says the qualifications for Vice President are the same as those for President. Now you can read that to mean ‘to serve,’ not ‘to run for.’ But I just don’t believe it’s consistent with the spirit of the Constitution for someone who’s been President twice to be elected Vice President. I just don’t think it’s Constitutional. I don’t think it’s right and I wouldn’t want to do that. I’d want to do whatever I could do to be of highest and best use for her, but there are lots of wonderful people out there, including all the people that are running this time would be good Vice Presidents. And, that’s just not in the cards.”

I actually thought he couldn’t run on the same ticket as Hillary simply because they are related. I sort of remember something like this after Robert F. Kennedy was picked by his brother JFK, to be the Attorney General.
Plus, they’re from the same state. I don’t think two from the same state can make up a ticket. This is why Dick Cheney is said to be from Wyoming and not Texas. Or am I making all this up? A quick check in Wikipedia reports that he did live most his life in Wyoming but there was a question of his residency when chosen to be Bush’s running mate since he may have been living in Texas at the time.

Did Hillary offer any advice to Bill before coming on the show? Bill says she gave him a list of ten things:
1. Don’t make news.
2. Don’t make news.
3. Don’t make news.
4. Don’t make news . . . and so on.

And in Iowa recently, Bill Clinton created quite a stir when the crowd saw him . . . . thinking he was Bob Barker.

Bill’s book: “Giving: How Each of us Can Change The World” – it’s in stores now.

ACT 5
A shot of the appreciative audience

ACT 7
PATTI SCIALFA: From her new CD, “Play It As It Lays,” Patti Scialfa performed the lovely, yet haunting, “Town Called Heartbreak.”

And that was our show for Tuesday, September 4, 2007.




It’s back. The morning traffic is back. Summer’s over and the traffic is back.

If you don’t have school-aged kids and you don’t take a vacation at the shore in September, you’re really missing something. September is the best time to spend a week at the shore. Cheap prices; no crowds; the weather is still warm; the water is great; and the prices are cheap. And that’s not all . . . . it’s cheap!

I have no idea but I would bet the Yankees this year have a better record against pitchers with a winning record than with a losing record.

How cool was this . . . on my way out after tonight’s show, I ran into Patti Scialfa’s husband, Bruce Springsteen. Well, I didn’t actually run into him . . . I saw him from across the stage. But if my friends ask, I’ll tell them I ran into him.

Each time I look at Bill Clinton’s book “Giving,” I mistakenly read “Givling.” I guess that could work, too.

Wahoo Gazette, June 29, 2007:
“I’m taking predictions now: Name the date Imus is back on WFAN radio here in New York. I would bet he’s coming back, and my guess is it’ll be the Tuesday after Labor Day.”
BUZZZZZZ.

Warning: Don’t wear your iPod when going to the bathroom at the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport. Tapping your foot to your favorite song could be costly.

Ouch. Did you see any of the Notre Dame/Georgia Tech game on Saturday? ND was NG. At least now I won’t have to waste my Saturday’s watching to see if they make it to the BCS Championship game. And now I have to hope the Giants and Jets lose their first 3 games and my weekends will be free the entire autumn and winter.

I was flipping the channel last night and I stopped to watch some pro wrestling WWE Monday Night Raw. Gee whiz, pro wrestling has sunk to a record low. Not only is it so obviously staged, it’s such bad staging. Last night was at least 30 minutes of Vince McMahon’s asking forgiveness from his wife; and then enters his daughter; and then a video clip of dad and daughter; and then enters his son; and then enters a wrestler and then enters a DNA expert. And I came in late. Already in the ring were three other guys when I stopped in to take a peek. All this was done in front of a sold-out arena. Where was the wrestling? For a half-hour it was just a soap opera without any wrestling. It was like tuning in to MTV and expecting music.

Woody’s Parkside Bar and Café – still not open. My new local “walk to” gin mill looks like it wants to open but the doors remain locked shut. Come on, Woody’s, man’s gotta drink.

50 YEARS AGO TODAY
“Launched September 4, 1957 after years of hype and hoopla, the Edsel enjoyed a short-lived success, generating more showroom traffic on introduction day ("E" Day) than any other vehicle in history. Huge lines formed at spanking new Edsel dealerships across North America as the soaped-up windows were wiped clean to unveil ‘The Newest Thing On Wheels!’"
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . oops, no it isn’t.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From New City, New York and a Pearl River High School grad, it’s Jimmy McLiverty.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1
• Show Open
• Dave's Monologue
 Watch now
• President Bush's Trip To Iraq
• Airport Romantic Hideaway Restrooms
• Great Moments In Presidential Speeches
ACT 2
• How We're Preparing For Bill Clinton
ACT 3
• Former President Bill Clinton
 Watch now
ACT 4
• More with Bill Clinton
ACT 5
• Audience Shot: Bill Clinton VCR Alert
ACT 6
• More with Bill Clinton
ACT 7
• Patty Scialfa performs "Town Called Heartbreak"

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