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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Adam Sandler; Scott Dixon; and Donna Summer. PLUS:Sex and the City Action Figure; A News Bulletin from Telemundo; Rupert’s Indiana Jones story; National Spelling Bee Highlight of the Night; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Small Town News; and a Top Ten List..
“ . . . and now federally protected wetland . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
The new Sex and the City movie had a record-breaking opening weekend, and Dave is sure they’ll make even more money from their line of merchandising. Dave shows one of the action figures put out by Sex and the City. It’s a guy. . . . . a guy who was dragged to the movie by his girlfriend action figure.
We are then interrupted by a Telemundo Noticias Bulletin:
Read in Spanish: “We interrupt this program to bring you a Telemundo News Bulletin! In the Puerto Rico Democratic Primary, Hillary Clinton won by 36 points. But party insiders say it won’t be enough to keep Barack Obama from winning the nomination. Sorry, Mrs. Clinton.
We not return you to ‘Senor Dave’s Casa del Loco,’ already in progress.”
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a huge success and excitement has hit a fever pitch. Our friend Rupert at the Hello Deli has a little story that ties in with the movie. Rupert: “I didn’t find a crystal skull, but today while spooning up some chili, I did find a pretty big chunk of glass. What can you do?”
Looney Tunes graphic and music: “That’s our Rupert!”
The National Spelling Bee Highlight of the Night – Did you see the Spelling Bee on ABC Friday night? One of the words to the eventual winner sounded like “numbnut.” The contestant replied, “Numbnut?” The word-giver repeated, “Numnah.” It was a funny back and forth. And if we kept running the tape, we would have heard the kid respond when he learned it was “numnah” and not “numbnut”: “Phew. That’s a relief.”
Numnah: the blanket put under a saddle to keep the saddle clean and to cushion the saddle against the back of the horse.
Paul says the cushioning could also prevent numbnuts. DING!
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: “Some of the major producers of food have had drouth.”
Drouth? Did he really say “drouth”? He meant “drought,” right? Drouth?
Yipes. I guess he can always have a job at the Wahoo Gazette after he’s done with the Presidency.
ACT 2: SMALL TOWN NEWS
- THE LOVELL CHRONICLE (LOVELL, WYOMING): “TO: RUSSELL VERHASSELT FROM LISETTE, I NEED YOU TO SERVE DIVORCE PAPERS ON ME IMMEDIATELY.”
- THE SOUTH BEND TRIBUNE (SOUTH BEND, INDIANA): A SEARS AD FOR A WHIRLPOOL REFRIGERATOR: “1599.88 CLOSEOUT. WAS 1599.99
- THE AMERICAN (FAIRLAND, OKLAHOMA): AT A HOSPITAL EMPLOYEE PARTY: “DR. THOMAS RECEIVED THE HONOR TO DRAW THE FIRST WINNING NAME OUT OF THE TOILET.”
- THE MOUNTAIN PRESS (SEVIERVILLE, TENNESSEE): “MARKSMEN QUARTET TO PERFORM FRIDAY” (photo of five guys)
- THE CURRENT-ARGUS (CARLSBAD, NEW MEXICO): “JANITOR NEEDED IMMEDIATELY—APPLY AT THE MALL CINEMA—BRING POLICE RECORD”
- THE CALHOUN-LIBERTY JOURNAL (BRISTOL, FLORIDA): “THOUGHTS ON THANKSGIVING—WHY DID PILGRIMS COME HERE?” ACCORDING TO FOURTH GRADER “JASON ANDERSON: THE PILGRIMS CAME TO AMERICA FOR GOOD DENTAL CARE.”
- THE HERALD BULLETIN (ANDERSON, INDIANA): “FOUND: ROOSTER WITH MISSING FOOT. CALL TO IDENTIFY!”
Somewhere around here, Dave apologized and explained tonight’s show is suffering a comedy drouth.
- THE PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE (PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA): “A NEVILLE ISLAND MAN PLEADED GUILTY YESTERDAY TO MISTAKENLY PAYING FOR HIS PIZZA WITH COUNTERFEIT MONEY. NORMALLY, JASON SULLIVAN TOLD POLICE, HE USED THE FAKE BILLS ONLY TO BUY DRUGS.”
- THE MERIWETHER VINDICATOR (GREENVILLE, GEORGIA): “THE BAD NEWS: THE BURGLARS STOLE EARRINGS, EXPENSIVE PERFUME, AND 50 DVD’S. THE GOOD NEWS: THEY THOUGHTFULLY CLEANED UP THE GLASS THEY HAD BROKEN WHEN THEY ENTERED THE HOME.”
- THE SYLVA HERALD (SYLVA, NORTH CAROLINA): We see a dog saying about a vet who is so good that “I WISH THAT I COULD CALL AND MAKE MY OWN APPOINTMENT TO GET SPAYED!”
And that was Small Town News.
ACT 3: TOP TEN: Revelations In The Scott McClellan book. #10. Thought it was safe to write tell-all book because the President doesn’t read. #8. Due to a clerical error, CIA spent two years fighting Al Jarreau. #5. White House has an illegal cable hookup.
ADAM SANDLER
It’s been a while since Adam has last been here. July 17, 2007 isn’t that long ago, but Sandler’s a local and should be here more. Adam says he watches the show every night and answers all the questions Dave asks the guests, so although it may seem a long time ago for Dave, Adam feels like he’s here all the time.
Adam is a dad to a 2-year-old and she is at the age where she is beginning to repeat things she hears daddy say. This weekend the toddler kept saying, “I’m the biggest start in the world!”
And Adam has been trying to teach her how to golf. He put in a putting green in the backyard and was showing her the fine art of putting. After a lengthy lesson, Adam looked up to see his daughter walking away to the house, leaving with a happy “Bye!”
And he and his wife and child took a trip to Disneyland not too long ago. Disney is great for the kids. Being a big-time celebrity, Adam was given Big-Time Celebrity Status. No waiting on line for the Sandlers! But Adam doesn’t want his child to grow up thinking she is entitled to things others are not. He doesn’t want her to think she is too good to wait in line, so he made his daughter and wife wait on the lines all day. They ended up going on 4 rides throughout the day while Adam got to go on, like, 101.
Adam says he’s had trouble at the house recently. Marital problems? No, nothing like that. The other morning he and his wife woke up to discover thousands of bees in their bedroom. They were all buzzing around the windowsill. They must have had a nest . . . . or a hive . . . . in the fireplace or something. Adam wanted to call the exterminator but his wife didn’t want to kill the living creatures. Adam worked out a compromise, charging each bee $1-a-month rent. It comes out to be $1,100 every month. Dang. Money really does go to money.
And now Adam and his wife are expecting their 2nd child. Is Adam as nervous about this one as the first, or does it get easier? Adam says he isn’t nearly as crazed.
My sister-in-law tells this story about kids, told to her by her pediatrician.
With your first-born, when the baby spits out the pacifier, you quickly pick it up, boil it to sterilize it, run it under cold water and give it back to the baby.
With your second-born, when the baby spits out the pacifier, you pick it up, run it under hot water, and give it back to the baby.
With your third-born, when the baby spits out the pacifier, you pick it up, wipe it on your pants, and give it back to the baby.
Adam Sandler’s Don’t Mess with the Zohan opens this Friday. It looks kooky as usual and will probably make well into the 7 figures, as do most of Adam Sandler’s movies.
And I remember him when he was just a little boy on MTV’s “Remote Control.” Oh, how they grow up so fast!
ACT 5: Announce: “Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Julianne Moore, Morgan Spurlock, and the cast of Broadway’s ‘South Pacific.’
The Late Show. Your one-stop shop for entertainment and all-season tires!
We’ll be right back.
ACT 6: SCOTT DIXON
The 2008 Indianapolis 500 Champion! Scott finished 2nd last year, but no one ever remembers who comes in second. Nothing beats winning. Scott, a New Zealander, didn’t quite appreciate the magnitude of the Indianapolis 500 while growing up. He would watch it on TV but that was about it. Dave, on the other hand, living on the other side of the world in the shadows of the Speedway, loved the 500 because he felt the whole world came to town that weekend, making Indianapolis the center of the universe. Now that Scott’s lives Indianapolis, he’s learned how important the race is and all about its history. It means so much more to him now.
As tradition has it following the winning of the race, the victorious driver drinks from a quart of mile in the winner’s circle. Dave asks that after hours of grueling driving, “Is milk really what you want to drink?
Scott says “It could have been mud and I’d drink it.”
Scott also says fellow New Zealanders were very proud of his victory at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway and reports that champagne sales in New Zealand went up by 4 times immediately following he race.
We see a photo of Scott kissing the Borg-Warner Trophy following the race. Well, he’s not actually kissing it because he isn’t allowed to touch it. He only pretends to kiss it. Dave says he’s been on dates like that.
I didn’t see any of this year’s Indianapolis 500. Over the Memorial Day weekend, I always go camping with my brothers and sister and friends. They all have campers and trailers while I remain with my tent. I only camp these 3 days a year and I’m not getting a camper just for that. So the guys who go camping are big NASCAR fans, and every Memorial Day weekend they listen to the Coca-Cola 600 on the radio. Yup, they listen to a car race on the radio. And every year during the race I ask the same thing, “Who won the Indianapolis 500?” They’ll answer, “This is NASCAR.” I’ll tell them I know that but haven’t the announcers at least reported the Indianapolis 500 results? They look at me and scoff, “Why would they do that? It’s a totally different sport!” They then go back to drinking their Miller Lite.
The race is on for like 5 hours, and the announcers can’t find 30 seconds to report the Indianapolis 500 results?
Congratulations, Scott Dixon. And to Rahal/Letterman driver Ryan Hunter-Reay for finishing 6th, the top spot for this year’s rookies.
Next Race: This Saturday at the Bombardier Learjet 550K at the Texas Motor Speedway.
ACT 7: DONNA SUMMER: From her brand new album, “Crayons,” the wonderful Ms. Donna Summer performed “Stomp Your Feet.”
Darn. I was hoping for “Love To Love You, Baby.”
And that was our show for Monday June 2, 2008.
We’re back. I survived a weekend of camping in upstate New York; tended to my lawn and weeded; painted parts of the house; went to 6 Flags Great Adventure; and spent this past weekend going to my girls’ basketball games. As always, it’s nice to be back to work so I can relax.
While I was typing up today’s Wahoo, the monitor screen went all ka-blooey. It’s happened before and I always have to reboot. I know I should probably get a new computer but I hate to be a bother. So it happened again today. I turned the monitor off and on a few times and nothing happened. I didn’t want to reboot because it takes too much time. Out of frustration, I smacked the back of the monitor a couple times. The screen went blank . . . and then snapped right back to being fixed. Banging it fixed it! And I didn’t even have to go to school for that! It worked on the family’s black and white TV back in the 60s and it works on my computer in ‘08. Who needs a screwdriver when a good smack will do?
My girls played basketball in a tournament in upstate Brewster, New York. I once again used the GPS to aid in my driving to get around. Boy, the GPS certainly makes you lazy. There’s no need to do any work in finding out how to get from here to there. How do I get there? No worry, I’ll just use my GPS. Three years ago I was amazed at how easy MapQuest made my life. And years before that I would read the directions to my destination into a cassette recorder. I would then listen to the directions as I drove in the car, stopping and starting the cassette player when needed. No need anymore. With the GPS, I can drive with my eyes closed. No need to look for landmarks . . . and no need to remember landmarks. With the GPS, driving someplace one day does not help in getting you there the next day if you forget the GPS. There’s no need to remember anything except to bring your GPS. Someday we will have satellite trouble and the entire country will be lost.
My girls’ basketball team is going to the D2 Nationals at the end of the month. This past Sunday morning they sat in front of Marty’s Bagels in Blauvelt, New York to help raise funds for the week-long trip. Every week there is someone at the bagel store looking for donations. It used to bother me some, but now that I’ve been “that” person, I’ll be giving an extra few dollars instead of the lone single. Thanks to Marty’s and all who made my girls feel special.
Marty’s Bagels --- always crowded, because they are the best.
Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan is busy promoting his book, “What Happened?” Odd. I thought that was going to be the title of George W. Bush’s book.
Did anyone stay up last night and watch Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals between the Detroit Red Wings and Pittsburgh Penguins? Great game; 3 overtimes. The Red Wings were 35 seconds from being crowned the champions when the Penguins pulled their goalie and scored to tie. 3 overtimes later, Pittsburgh scored again to live another day. I’ve said it before, I like all sports, but there is none better than a Stanley Cup finals game. It’s better than the Super Bowl; it’s better than the World Series; it’s better than the NBA Finals. I’m not near the hockey fan I once was, but nothing beats the Stanley Cup.
Before we left on vacation, we had on the show the CEO of ExxonMobil, Jim Keyes. We’ve had “Jim Keyes” on the program before as the 7-Eleven CEO and President. Last week on our program, Jim Keyes celebrated ExxonMobil’s tie-in with Dave and the LATE SHOW in a big gasoline giveaway. Drive up to any ExxonMobil gas station and say, “This tank’s on Dave!” You would then get up to 20 gallons of free gasoline.
CALM DOWN, PEOPLE! Slow down . . . relax . . . . and let’s think about this for a minute. Take a deep breath. OK, do you really think ExxonMobil and Dave would giveaway 20 gallons of free gasoline to every man, woman, and child over 16 in America? Sheesh! It was a joke! I got more than a few queries wondering if the offer was for real. And these people vote! You can study the Presidential candidates for days, weeks, months before making your decision . . . . and your vote could be canceled out by someone who believed the free 20 gallon offer was legit.
And now once again, Late Night The Day They Were Born.
Scott Dixon was born July 22, 1980.
So what happened on Late Night the day Scott Dixon was born? Nothing. It didn’t exist yet. But there was a daytime David Letterman Show.
So, what happened on the David Letterman Show the day Scott Dixon was born?
Scott Dixon, Indianapolis 500 Winner, 2008: Born July 22, 1980 July 22, 1980: Dave's morning show, called The David Letterman Show (#22), with sports scientist Gordon Ariel, paddle tennis champ Hilary Hilton, sports broadcaster Bob Uecker, dog trainer Ray Berwick with his dog Boomer, mountain climber Vera Komarkova, musician John Sebastian, and a visit with the Tempke sisters Lulu (Edie McClurg) and Olive (Valri Bromfield).
And that’s what happened on The David Letterman Show the day Scott Dixon was born.
Many thanks to Sir Don Giller for the above information.
Big baseball day in New York Tuesday night. The Mets celebrate the return of Pedro Martinez to the mound after his 2-month stint on the DL and the Yankees begin their grand experiment of making the game’s best set-up man in Joba Chamberlain as a starter.
Hey, the baseball season is 162 games long, covering 8 months including the playoffs and World Series. You got to create excitement when you can.
I have a feeling that late in tonight’s Yankee game, Joba Chamberlain is going to need Joba Chamberlain.
I can’t believe Bandicoot doesn’t read the Wahoo Gazette.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It’s her birthday! From Long Beach, Long Island in New York and 1980 SUNY Cortland graduate, it’s Linda Kellerman.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Adam Sandler; Scott Dixon; and Donna Summer. PLUS:Sex and the City Action Figure; A News Bulletin from Telemundo; Rupert’s Indiana Jones story; National Spelling Bee Highlight of the Night; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Small Town News; and a Top Ten List..
“ . . . and now federally protected wetland . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
The new Sex and the City movie had a record-breaking opening weekend, and Dave is sure they’ll make even more money from their line of merchandising. Dave shows one of the action figures put out by Sex and the City. It’s a guy. . . . . a guy who was dragged to the movie by his girlfriend action figure.
We are then interrupted by a Telemundo Noticias Bulletin:
Read in Spanish: “We interrupt this program to bring you a Telemundo News Bulletin! In the Puerto Rico Democratic Primary, Hillary Clinton won by 36 points. But party insiders say it won’t be enough to keep Barack Obama from winning the nomination. Sorry, Mrs. Clinton.
We not return you to ‘Senor Dave’s Casa del Loco,’ already in progress.”
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a huge success and excitement has hit a fever pitch. Our friend Rupert at the Hello Deli has a little story that ties in with the movie. Rupert: “I didn’t find a crystal skull, but today while spooning up some chili, I did find a pretty big chunk of glass. What can you do?”
Looney Tunes graphic and music: “That’s our Rupert!”
The National Spelling Bee Highlight of the Night – Did you see the Spelling Bee on ABC Friday night? One of the words to the eventual winner sounded like “numbnut.” The contestant replied, “Numbnut?” The word-giver repeated, “Numnah.” It was a funny back and forth. And if we kept running the tape, we would have heard the kid respond when he learned it was “numnah” and not “numbnut”: “Phew. That’s a relief.”
Numnah: the blanket put under a saddle to keep the saddle clean and to cushion the saddle against the back of the horse.
Paul says the cushioning could also prevent numbnuts. DING!
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: “Some of the major producers of food have had drouth.”
Drouth? Did he really say “drouth”? He meant “drought,” right? Drouth?
Yipes. I guess he can always have a job at the Wahoo Gazette after he’s done with the Presidency.
ACT 2: SMALL TOWN NEWS
- THE LOVELL CHRONICLE (LOVELL, WYOMING): “TO: RUSSELL VERHASSELT FROM LISETTE, I NEED YOU TO SERVE DIVORCE PAPERS ON ME IMMEDIATELY.”
- THE SOUTH BEND TRIBUNE (SOUTH BEND, INDIANA): A SEARS AD FOR A WHIRLPOOL REFRIGERATOR: “1599.88 CLOSEOUT. WAS 1599.99
- THE AMERICAN (FAIRLAND, OKLAHOMA): AT A HOSPITAL EMPLOYEE PARTY: “DR. THOMAS RECEIVED THE HONOR TO DRAW THE FIRST WINNING NAME OUT OF THE TOILET.”
- THE MOUNTAIN PRESS (SEVIERVILLE, TENNESSEE): “MARKSMEN QUARTET TO PERFORM FRIDAY” (photo of five guys)
- THE CURRENT-ARGUS (CARLSBAD, NEW MEXICO): “JANITOR NEEDED IMMEDIATELY—APPLY AT THE MALL CINEMA—BRING POLICE RECORD”
- THE CALHOUN-LIBERTY JOURNAL (BRISTOL, FLORIDA): “THOUGHTS ON THANKSGIVING—WHY DID PILGRIMS COME HERE?” ACCORDING TO FOURTH GRADER “JASON ANDERSON: THE PILGRIMS CAME TO AMERICA FOR GOOD DENTAL CARE.”
- THE HERALD BULLETIN (ANDERSON, INDIANA): “FOUND: ROOSTER WITH MISSING FOOT. CALL TO IDENTIFY!”
Somewhere around here, Dave apologized and explained tonight’s show is suffering a comedy drouth.
- THE PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE (PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA): “A NEVILLE ISLAND MAN PLEADED GUILTY YESTERDAY TO MISTAKENLY PAYING FOR HIS PIZZA WITH COUNTERFEIT MONEY. NORMALLY, JASON SULLIVAN TOLD POLICE, HE USED THE FAKE BILLS ONLY TO BUY DRUGS.”
- THE MERIWETHER VINDICATOR (GREENVILLE, GEORGIA): “THE BAD NEWS: THE BURGLARS STOLE EARRINGS, EXPENSIVE PERFUME, AND 50 DVD’S. THE GOOD NEWS: THEY THOUGHTFULLY CLEANED UP THE GLASS THEY HAD BROKEN WHEN THEY ENTERED THE HOME.”
- THE SYLVA HERALD (SYLVA, NORTH CAROLINA): We see a dog saying about a vet who is so good that “I WISH THAT I COULD CALL AND MAKE MY OWN APPOINTMENT TO GET SPAYED!”
And that was Small Town News.
ACT 3: TOP TEN: Revelations In The Scott McClellan book. #10. Thought it was safe to write tell-all book because the President doesn’t read. #8. Due to a clerical error, CIA spent two years fighting Al Jarreau. #5. White House has an illegal cable hookup.
ADAM SANDLER
It’s been a while since Adam has last been here. July 17, 2007 isn’t that long ago, but Sandler’s a local and should be here more. Adam says he watches the show every night and answers all the questions Dave asks the guests, so although it may seem a long time ago for Dave, Adam feels like he’s here all the time.
Adam is a dad to a 2-year-old and she is at the age where she is beginning to repeat things she hears daddy say. This weekend the toddler kept saying, “I’m the biggest start in the world!”
And Adam has been trying to teach her how to golf. He put in a putting green in the backyard and was showing her the fine art of putting. After a lengthy lesson, Adam looked up to see his daughter walking away to the house, leaving with a happy “Bye!”
And he and his wife and child took a trip to Disneyland not too long ago. Disney is great for the kids. Being a big-time celebrity, Adam was given Big-Time Celebrity Status. No waiting on line for the Sandlers! But Adam doesn’t want his child to grow up thinking she is entitled to things others are not. He doesn’t want her to think she is too good to wait in line, so he made his daughter and wife wait on the lines all day. They ended up going on 4 rides throughout the day while Adam got to go on, like, 101.
Adam says he’s had trouble at the house recently. Marital problems? No, nothing like that. The other morning he and his wife woke up to discover thousands of bees in their bedroom. They were all buzzing around the windowsill. They must have had a nest . . . . or a hive . . . . in the fireplace or something. Adam wanted to call the exterminator but his wife didn’t want to kill the living creatures. Adam worked out a compromise, charging each bee $1-a-month rent. It comes out to be $1,100 every month. Dang. Money really does go to money.
And now Adam and his wife are expecting their 2nd child. Is Adam as nervous about this one as the first, or does it get easier? Adam says he isn’t nearly as crazed.
My sister-in-law tells this story about kids, told to her by her pediatrician.
With your first-born, when the baby spits out the pacifier, you quickly pick it up, boil it to sterilize it, run it under cold water and give it back to the baby.
With your second-born, when the baby spits out the pacifier, you pick it up, run it under hot water, and give it back to the baby.
With your third-born, when the baby spits out the pacifier, you pick it up, wipe it on your pants, and give it back to the baby.
Adam Sandler’s Don’t Mess with the Zohan opens this Friday. It looks kooky as usual and will probably make well into the 7 figures, as do most of Adam Sandler’s movies.
And I remember him when he was just a little boy on MTV’s “Remote Control.” Oh, how they grow up so fast!
ACT 5: Announce: “Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Julianne Moore, Morgan Spurlock, and the cast of Broadway’s ‘South Pacific.’
The Late Show. Your one-stop shop for entertainment and all-season tires!
We’ll be right back.
ACT 6: SCOTT DIXON
The 2008 Indianapolis 500 Champion! Scott finished 2nd last year, but no one ever remembers who comes in second. Nothing beats winning. Scott, a New Zealander, didn’t quite appreciate the magnitude of the Indianapolis 500 while growing up. He would watch it on TV but that was about it. Dave, on the other hand, living on the other side of the world in the shadows of the Speedway, loved the 500 because he felt the whole world came to town that weekend, making Indianapolis the center of the universe. Now that Scott’s lives Indianapolis, he’s learned how important the race is and all about its history. It means so much more to him now.
As tradition has it following the winning of the race, the victorious driver drinks from a quart of mile in the winner’s circle. Dave asks that after hours of grueling driving, “Is milk really what you want to drink?
Scott says “It could have been mud and I’d drink it.”
Scott also says fellow New Zealanders were very proud of his victory at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway and reports that champagne sales in New Zealand went up by 4 times immediately following he race.
We see a photo of Scott kissing the Borg-Warner Trophy following the race. Well, he’s not actually kissing it because he isn’t allowed to touch it. He only pretends to kiss it. Dave says he’s been on dates like that.
I didn’t see any of this year’s Indianapolis 500. Over the Memorial Day weekend, I always go camping with my brothers and sister and friends. They all have campers and trailers while I remain with my tent. I only camp these 3 days a year and I’m not getting a camper just for that. So the guys who go camping are big NASCAR fans, and every Memorial Day weekend they listen to the Coca-Cola 600 on the radio. Yup, they listen to a car race on the radio. And every year during the race I ask the same thing, “Who won the Indianapolis 500?” They’ll answer, “This is NASCAR.” I’ll tell them I know that but haven’t the announcers at least reported the Indianapolis 500 results? They look at me and scoff, “Why would they do that? It’s a totally different sport!” They then go back to drinking their Miller Lite.
The race is on for like 5 hours, and the announcers can’t find 30 seconds to report the Indianapolis 500 results?
Congratulations, Scott Dixon. And to Rahal/Letterman driver Ryan Hunter-Reay for finishing 6th, the top spot for this year’s rookies.
Next Race: This Saturday at the Bombardier Learjet 550K at the Texas Motor Speedway.
ACT 7: DONNA SUMMER: From her brand new album, “Crayons,” the wonderful Ms. Donna Summer performed “Stomp Your Feet.”
Darn. I was hoping for “Love To Love You, Baby.”
And that was our show for Monday June 2, 2008.
We’re back. I survived a weekend of camping in upstate New York; tended to my lawn and weeded; painted parts of the house; went to 6 Flags Great Adventure; and spent this past weekend going to my girls’ basketball games. As always, it’s nice to be back to work so I can relax.
While I was typing up today’s Wahoo, the monitor screen went all ka-blooey. It’s happened before and I always have to reboot. I know I should probably get a new computer but I hate to be a bother. So it happened again today. I turned the monitor off and on a few times and nothing happened. I didn’t want to reboot because it takes too much time. Out of frustration, I smacked the back of the monitor a couple times. The screen went blank . . . and then snapped right back to being fixed. Banging it fixed it! And I didn’t even have to go to school for that! It worked on the family’s black and white TV back in the 60s and it works on my computer in ‘08. Who needs a screwdriver when a good smack will do?
My girls played basketball in a tournament in upstate Brewster, New York. I once again used the GPS to aid in my driving to get around. Boy, the GPS certainly makes you lazy. There’s no need to do any work in finding out how to get from here to there. How do I get there? No worry, I’ll just use my GPS. Three years ago I was amazed at how easy MapQuest made my life. And years before that I would read the directions to my destination into a cassette recorder. I would then listen to the directions as I drove in the car, stopping and starting the cassette player when needed. No need anymore. With the GPS, I can drive with my eyes closed. No need to look for landmarks . . . and no need to remember landmarks. With the GPS, driving someplace one day does not help in getting you there the next day if you forget the GPS. There’s no need to remember anything except to bring your GPS. Someday we will have satellite trouble and the entire country will be lost.
My girls’ basketball team is going to the D2 Nationals at the end of the month. This past Sunday morning they sat in front of Marty’s Bagels in Blauvelt, New York to help raise funds for the week-long trip. Every week there is someone at the bagel store looking for donations. It used to bother me some, but now that I’ve been “that” person, I’ll be giving an extra few dollars instead of the lone single. Thanks to Marty’s and all who made my girls feel special.
Marty’s Bagels --- always crowded, because they are the best.
Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan is busy promoting his book, “What Happened?” Odd. I thought that was going to be the title of George W. Bush’s book.
Did anyone stay up last night and watch Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals between the Detroit Red Wings and Pittsburgh Penguins? Great game; 3 overtimes. The Red Wings were 35 seconds from being crowned the champions when the Penguins pulled their goalie and scored to tie. 3 overtimes later, Pittsburgh scored again to live another day. I’ve said it before, I like all sports, but there is none better than a Stanley Cup finals game. It’s better than the Super Bowl; it’s better than the World Series; it’s better than the NBA Finals. I’m not near the hockey fan I once was, but nothing beats the Stanley Cup.
Before we left on vacation, we had on the show the CEO of ExxonMobil, Jim Keyes. We’ve had “Jim Keyes” on the program before as the 7-Eleven CEO and President. Last week on our program, Jim Keyes celebrated ExxonMobil’s tie-in with Dave and the LATE SHOW in a big gasoline giveaway. Drive up to any ExxonMobil gas station and say, “This tank’s on Dave!” You would then get up to 20 gallons of free gasoline.
CALM DOWN, PEOPLE! Slow down . . . relax . . . . and let’s think about this for a minute. Take a deep breath. OK, do you really think ExxonMobil and Dave would giveaway 20 gallons of free gasoline to every man, woman, and child over 16 in America? Sheesh! It was a joke! I got more than a few queries wondering if the offer was for real. And these people vote! You can study the Presidential candidates for days, weeks, months before making your decision . . . . and your vote could be canceled out by someone who believed the free 20 gallon offer was legit.
And now once again, Late Night The Day They Were Born.
Scott Dixon was born July 22, 1980.
So what happened on Late Night the day Scott Dixon was born? Nothing. It didn’t exist yet. But there was a daytime David Letterman Show.
So, what happened on the David Letterman Show the day Scott Dixon was born?
Scott Dixon, Indianapolis 500 Winner, 2008: Born July 22, 1980 July 22, 1980: Dave's morning show, called The David Letterman Show (#22), with sports scientist Gordon Ariel, paddle tennis champ Hilary Hilton, sports broadcaster Bob Uecker, dog trainer Ray Berwick with his dog Boomer, mountain climber Vera Komarkova, musician John Sebastian, and a visit with the Tempke sisters Lulu (Edie McClurg) and Olive (Valri Bromfield).
And that’s what happened on The David Letterman Show the day Scott Dixon was born.
Many thanks to Sir Don Giller for the above information.
Big baseball day in New York Tuesday night. The Mets celebrate the return of Pedro Martinez to the mound after his 2-month stint on the DL and the Yankees begin their grand experiment of making the game’s best set-up man in Joba Chamberlain as a starter.
Hey, the baseball season is 162 games long, covering 8 months including the playoffs and World Series. You got to create excitement when you can.
I have a feeling that late in tonight’s Yankee game, Joba Chamberlain is going to need Joba Chamberlain.
I can’t believe Bandicoot doesn’t read the Wahoo Gazette.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It’s her birthday! From Long Beach, Long Island in New York and 1980 SUNY Cortland graduate, it’s Linda Kellerman.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Puerto Rico Primary Results • Rupert's "Indiana Jones" Moment • National Spelling Bee Highlight of the Night • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Small Town News
ACT 3 • Top Ten Revelations in the Scott McClellan Book Read now
