" . . . and now, Alaskan king crab fisherman . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
Gotta admit. I barely saw much of this show. I was busy doing stuff for the back-end of the show. I'll fake it, but try not to notice.

Gas prices keep climbing. Dave thinks part of the reason is due to how much gasoline is wasted. Dave was stunned when he saw this commercial.
Announce: "This summer, beat the heat the fun way: take the family to the Shell Gasoline Fun Park in Houston, Texas!
Ride the Gasoline Log Flume!
Frolic in High-Test Lagoon!
Zoom down the 93 Octane Slide!
Remember, smoking is not permitted in the park.
Shell Gasoline Fun Park --- it's a gas for the whole family."

This Sunday is Father's Day and judging by this announcement, Hallmark has a card for just about everyone.
Announce: "Show dad you love him this Father's Day by sending him a Hallmark card. We have cards for everyone.
For fathers who are close to their sons.
For fathers who are looking to reconnect with their sons.
And for fathers who pretend they don't have sons. (photo of George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush)
Hallmark: Your home for overpriced cardboard rectangles."

Dave can't believe what he saw earlier today on the TV. WNBC Channel4 has come out with a new promo for their local news. We take a look at the promo. We see the various anchors saying hello and hard at work. Then we see Sue Simmons shout, "What the 'givl' are you doing?!"

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES

ACT 2:
Later in the show, in a return engagement, Mark Odgers will attempt to leap over 8 Late Show interns, one more than he jumped over on Monday. We were lucky to get him back.

LATE SHOW FUN FACTS: some are funny; some are factual; some are both; a lot are neither.

ACT 3:
HOSE CAM: Dave urges the passersby to step into the puddle. One woman who sees what's happening almost dares Dave to shoot the hose at her as she passes. Dave accepts the dare. She gets angry.

WHOOPI GOLDBERG: She's one of the hosts of "The View" and will be hosting the 62nd Annual Tony Awards this Sunday night on CBS at 8:00 PM.
Whoopi has been with "The View" since September. How's that going? Is it great? Whoopi says, "It's great just to have a job."

I like when celebrities say that because it tells me they remember what it was once like before they "made it" and they KNOW they are lucky to be where they are today. For most of them they could very easily still be waiting tables. I always think of someone like, oh, I don't know . . . let's use Jennifer Aniston. She was up for the job on "Friends." The role was probably between her and someone else, someone we'll call Meg. The producers would be going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth between Jennifer and Meg. Which one? Who should we choose? At the final meeting, one would say, "Let's go with Meg." Others would chime, "Yeah." Others would rebut, "No, let's go with Jennifer." And then someone would say, "I once had a girlfriend named 'Meg.' It ended badly." Then they would all agree to go with Jennifer. Now, we know what happened to Jennifer. I'm always interested in what happened to Meg. She was SO close!

We show a clip of the morning's "The View." We see the team of women all talking at once with none being heard. Although it could have been yesterday's "The View." Come to think of it, it may be this Monday's.

What does Whoopi think about Barbara Walters' book? Whoopi asks Dave if he is in the book. He is, but not in that way. They were talking about Barbara's admitted dalliances and escapades. Was Whoopi surprised that Barbara was "getting around" like that? Whoopi says she wasn't surprised by the list, but was surprised she put it in a book. She adds, when you think of Barbara Walters, "you do not think of her bumping."

This Sunday night, Whoopi will be hosting the Tony Awards right here on CBS. She's hosted the Academy Awards and the Grammy's. Whoopi now only needs the Emmys to complete the Grand Slam. Has anyone ever achieved the Hosting Grand Slam?

Sure, I like "The View," but it's not "The Other Half."

ACT 4:
Back from commercial, Dave shows a rarely seen photo that answers a question many have suspected for years. It's a photo of Dave and Barbara Walters in bed together. Not quite Lennon/Yoko, but quite seductive nonetheless.

Let's go out to 53rd Street to meet Mark Odgers. Mark was here on Monday and leaped over 7 interns. Tonight he will attempt to do 8.
We see our team of interns:
1. David Hinojosa - Boston University
2. Zach Smilovitz - University of Michigan
3. Claudia Kiss - James Madison University
4. Eliot Rahal - DePaul University
5. Pamela Ahn - Cornell University
6. Sean Hallarman - Emory University
7. Jessica Snyder - Salisbury University
8. Emma Coleman - Harvard University
Jessica, #7, was the new intern added to tonight's lineup from Monday. Mark doesn't seem all too confident he can achieve what is being asked, but figures the money is good enough to attempt it. Mark runs west towards the Hudson, jumps on a mini trampoline and does a flip over the 8 standing interns. Success! Nice job, Mark! He cleared the lineup by quite a bit and Dave suspects he is sandbagging us. I sort of suspect the same. He can probably jump over 15 interns but wants to increase the size by only one at a time. This way he can set and break a bunch of world records instead of only doing it once, just like that fat Soviet weightlifter used to always do on Wide World of Sports.

ACT 5:
Announce: "Monday on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Mike Myers; Pro BMX rider Kevin Robinson; and singer Adele. This show is guaranteed to make you laugh or your money back. We'll be right back."

ACT 6:
SPENCER PRATT: From MTV's "The Hills." And that's just about all I know about this guy.
Spencer joined the show in its second season after watching it at home and thinking it needed a little boost. He and his buddy Brody decided to go on the show and date a couple of the girls. Brody ended up dating Lauren and Spencer started dating Heidi. Unfortunately, Brody and Lauren didn't quite work out but, fantastic, Spencer and Heidi are still a hot item and are madly in love. Now Lauren feels left out and is trying to put a wedge between Heidi and Spencer. And since it is Lauren's show, Spencer is made to look like the bad guy.
Dave now knows how Spencer got on that show. What Dave can't figure out is how he got on THIS show?
But acting isn't the only thing Spencer is in to at the moment. He calls himself a show business visionary and has 4 projects in development, along with handling all of Heidi's music, and has an independent music label where he represents a kid who will be the next Michael Jackson.
Oooohhhhh, I think one Michael Jackson was enough, thank you.
And we learn that Spencer is paid good money to make appearances at nightclubs. People pay him to come to their nightclub. How much? $100,000. Wow!
$100,000! For that, I hope he has to at least stay till "Last Call."

"The Hills" - on MTV . . . . you know, the music channel that used to play music. That's what the "M" stands for.

ACT 7:
NICK GRIFFIN: it pays to be depressed and moody. Girls like that. Girls like bad boys. Just thinking about that makes me depressed and moody.
Lots of good laughs during Nick's routine.
Nick will be performing at the Great American Comedy Festival in Norfolk, Nebraska --- Johnny Carson's hometown.

And that was our show for Friday, June 13, 2008.



How can any Friday be considered bad luck?

A bat flying into the house is considered bad luck.
Bad luck: an itch inside your nose.
Bad luck: singing before breakfast.

As I was typing up this Wahoo, a staffer entered my office and peered over my shoulder. "What's that?" he asks. I said "I'm doing the Wahoo." He says, "What's that?" I said "It's a recap of the show." He says, "Oh. Good luck with it." Jiminy crickets. I've been at this day in and day out for over 10 years and there are staff members who have never heard of it. And yet, I still pretend . . . .

The Wahoo Gazette --- it's like a tree that fell in the forest.

I don't try to cause trouble, I really don't. I like to keep things simple, I like things to keep moving forward. I'm walking in to work this morning and I get a hankering for some breakfast. I usually don't have breakfast, eating in the morning only what my girls don't finish before going to school. But today I wanted some breakfast. I head for the local bodega for a bacon and egg on a roll. Before entering, I decide I want something more. I've been feeling a bit ill this week and I believe in the adage, "Feed a cold, feed a fever," so I decided to forget the bacon and egg on a roll and head over to McDonald's for two sausage and egg mcmuffins. I have to retrace my steps two blocks but convince myself it'll be worth it. Retracking will cost me 10 minutes out of my day, but darn it, I'm worth it . . . at least I feel I'm worth it today. I go into the McDonalds and wait on one of the three lines. Of course, the line to my right moves and the line to my left moves but the line I'm on doesn't. After a few minutes I laze my way to the front of the line and see on the register, "CLOSED." Nobody else seems to be bothered that they are standing on line in front of a register that's closed. I go on the line to my right and wait some more. There's a good size crowd in the morning McDonald's, and that's to be expected since McD's is known to throw a good breakfast. Finally it's my turn to order. I order my two Sausage McMuffins with Egg. It comes to $5.18. I can already taste it. I hand the woman my 20-dollar bill. She says, "We don't have change for that." I look at my bill, thinking I may have given her a fifty or a hundred. It was a twenty, just as I thought. Plus, I knew it was a twenty because I haven't had a fifty or a hundred in my wallet in 12 years, before the birth of my twins.
I took my twenty and left.
McDonald's doesn't have change for a twenty on a $5.18 bill? Hard to believe. Well, you can X-out McDonald's from my list of places I'll be visiting for the next 3 months. That's how long I usually stay away from a place when they upset me like that. I did the same to Popeye's some years back and am currently in the second month of a 3-month stay-away from Wendy's. It's the only way I can feel as if I'm doing something to combat bad service. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just a bad customer. Or maybe the woman at McDonald's didn't know how to count out $14.82 . . . . . or worse, maybe didn't want to be bothered.
McDonald's: 1 trillion served, minus 1.

Bad luck: look at the new moon over your left shoulder
Bad luck: Putting a hat on a bed.
Bad luck: stepping on board a ship with your left foot.

And now it's time for "Late Night The Day They Were Born."
Spencer Pratt was born in 1984. That's all I could find. I couldn't find his birthday anywhere.
I'm sorry, but there will not be a "Late Night The Day They Were Born" today.

People are starting to sunbathe on rooftops here in the city. Remind me to bring my binocs to work on Monday.

Put out your flag! It's Flag Day the 14th!

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
He's 47 today, from Johnson City, New York, phys-ed teacher at Binghamton High, happy birthday Tim McIntee.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER