" . . . and now, a man who has his finger on the pulse of young America . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
"Why the long face, John Kerry?" That silly joke makes me laugh every time, probably because I don't have a long face.

During the pre-show Q&A, a lovely woman, Tammy from Vancouver, raised her hand to ask a question. And then the thug next to her barges in, "I'll take it from here, Tammy" . . . . . and asks something like "Is there an OTB near here?" Dave re-enacts the scene throughout the ACT 1. But credit the guy . . . . not a bad idea. Advertisers do it all the time.

The Democratic nominee for Vice President is Joe Biden from Delaware. Dave asks, "Anyone here from Delaware?" This is met with complete silence. Dave then goes into his thug voice, " . . . and by God we plan on keeping it that way, dammit!" Biden's from Delaware and we decided this would be a good time to do something we call, "Get To Know Delaware." Graphic and music. Map of Delaware. After a long silence, the announcer says "I got nothing."
Dave throws the blue card through the window behind him. We hear the glass crash, followed by a double dose of a Tarzan yell.

And now it's time for "Delegate of the Night." We see an unenthusiastic enthusiastic delegate boringly waving her American flag. Dave says, "I've seen that look on a woman's face more times than I can count. . . . . 'Hey, I'm Dave, your date.'"

ABC: The Most Trusted Name in News - We see Terry Moran on "Nightline." He proclaims, "Barack Obama . . . the son of a black man from Kenya and a white man in Kansas. No matter your politics, that is one for the history books." I'LL SAY! Science is truly amazing.

Everybody loves Dennis Kucinich, the congressman from Ohio. I always laugh when I see his name in the newspaper. It usually looks like this: "Dennis Kucinich (D-OH)." I can't help but think of Homer Simpson after he makes a blunder.
We see a clip of Congressman Kucinich making a speech at the convention. Quite animated, with a lot of arm waving and gesticulating. Adding our won wacky, cartoonish music made it look more comical than it actually was. Sorry, D.K., but thanks.

ACT 2:
TOP TEN: Surprises in Barack Obama's Democratic National Convention Address
#10. Delivered speech in a bright orange pantsuit.
#2. Plans to bring peace to Lo and Audrina on "The Hills."
I've never seen "The Hills." I'm not getting any of "The Hills" jokes. Same goes for 25 years of Star Wars jokes.

BIFF AT THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION
We see Biff making the rounds at the Convention. He learns what a super delegate is; what people like about Americans; and see Biff one-on-one interviews with Hillary Clinton and Michele Obama. It was exciting to see Biff get a wave from Ms. Hillary from far across the convention floor.

ACT 3:
BRAD GARRETT: Hey, gals, he's single again! And to take advantage of the new situation, he's now starring in a new web series on crackle.com, entitled "Dating Brad Garrett." I don't know. I think the world is spinning out of control. This isn't my father's world anymore.
Being a celebrity, Brad is often approached by fans who want to make small talk. This is OK once in awhile, but it soon becomes tiring. One way Brad keeps them away is hiking his voice up as many octaves it will go and chirp, "You like birds? I'm a bird."
Many know Brad as Ray Romano's "brother." Brad recently spent some time with Ray doing shows in Vegas. Brad says Ray has a whole bunch of money but keeps deep in his pocket. You'll find no one tighter than Ray. Gambling? It's tough to get Ray at a blackjack table. He'll have $15 on a hand and will refuse to double-down because it would force him to put another $15 on the table.
Brad and Ray are often put together on those celebrity golf tournaments. Brad admits to not being much of a golfer, but likes it because it gives him the chance to dress like a pimp. Brad averages about a 115. Ray shoots around an 88, but Ray is constantly at the driving range and golfing all the time. Brad would rather the 115 without all the work. Once in Tahoe, Brad shot the highest score ever on national TV. He hit a 127. Asked how anyone could shoot a 127, Brad's buddy Ray said, "He missed the putt for 126."

"'Til Death" - its third season premieres on Wednesday, September 10th at 8:00 PM on FOX. At least I think it's at 8:00 PM. FOX has changed its time slot three times now. Give FOX a call. They'll put it on anytime you want.

ACT 4:
BLAKE LIVELY: She's in the hot, steamy series on the CW, "Gossip Girl." Its second season starts Monday at 8:00 PM. Blake recently celebrated her 21st birthday. Wow, big day? What did she do, a big time TV star like her? She went to work, came home and had a burger, and watched "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives" on the Food Network. Hey, who knew I lived the life of a TV starlet?
What does Blake like to do in her free time? She'll head to Brooklyn bar and compete in Guitar Hero tournaments. She's mastered the easy level and the medium level but still battle with the difficult. She's also strong in style points, but style points don't always count. What do you win at the Guitar Hero tournaments? Usually shots of booze, but Blake doesn't drink. Oops. I guess I DON'T live the life of a TV starlet. "Gossip Girl" - it promises to be racier and more scandalous than ever.

ACT 5:
Announce: "Hey, America! The Tony Mendez Show is back with an all-new episode! Tune and watch the excitement as Tony goes head to head with Olympic Gold Medal winner Bryan Clay!
Satisfy your comedy craving at www.cbs.com/lateshow.
We'll be right back.

ACT 7:
RANDY HOUSER: From his CD to be released in November, Randy Houser performed "Anything Goes." You can buy the single now, "Anything Goes," wherever digital recordings can be purchased, or something like that. I'm still living in a '45 world; I don't know from these things.
From "Anything Goes":
"But anything goes when everything's gone.
You ain't around to give a damn whether I do right or wrong
So bring it on
Anything goes when everything's gone."

And that was our show for Thursday, August 28, 2008.



The Ladies Professional Golf Association is requiring all its golfers to be proficient in English. Too bad the same requirement isn't placed upon the office of United States President.

From the Wahoo Gazette - October 16, 2007, over 10 months ago:

"I was one who liked a traditional singing of the National Anthem until I heard Marvin Gaye sing it at the 1983 NBA All-Star game. That was the best I ever heard. Check it out on YouTube."
Uh huh. And have you noticed the new Nike commercial, the NEW Nike commercial, with the USA Men's Olympic Basketball Team and . . . . . . and Marvin Gaye singing the "Star Spangled Banner" at the 1983 NBA All-Star game! Nice choice, Nike. Where do they come up with these ideas? Where? Hey, I can pretend, can't I?

When I was in college, I had a very low opinion of myself; my self esteem was in the dumps. I had a girlfriend who also had a very low opinion of herself. Eventually we broke up. We both felt the other could do better.

And now, once again, Late Night the Day They Were Born.
Blake Lively was born August 25, 1987. So, what happened on Late Night the day Blake Lively was born?
"Late Night with David Letterman" - August 25, 1987; Show #1023.Guests: Darryl Strawberry; Harry Shearer (does Mike Dukakis); Brian Wilson sings "Night Time"; a camera at a New Jersey Turnpike Rest Stop (buy tires for a Connecticut couple); Bridget's Next Egg (joke in dry ice); and a top ten - Possible Slogans for the Seoul Olympics.
And that's what happened on Late Night the day Blake Lively was born.

Hey, you like Mexican food? Well, the next time you're in New York City, head on over to Gabriela's on Columbus Ave. at 93rd Street. They delivered a nice spread today, gratis, and I had a plate of their best stuff. It was delish. I give it three-and-a-half sombreros. I only wish I brought my Tupperware.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Starting on his JV soccer team, freshman Patrick McIntee.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com