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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
James Franco; Bruce McCall; and the AllStarz. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Late Show Fun Facts; and Regis!
" . . . and now, sophomore class treasurer . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1: Monologue:
"New York City has a raccoon problem. They're brazen. Today I saw one tackle a Chihuahua and take his sweater."
"Thanksgiving is next Thursday, or as it is known in my house: Competitive eating"
Great Moments in Presidential Speeches: Bush: "No border's been withdrawn . . . in that sense . . . stretch. It's uhh. . . . it's . . . . uhh . . . . Kosovo's uhh . . . . you know, Kosovo itself . . ."
ACT 2:
The "Late Show Fun Facts" book continues to gain accolades. It has now been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. And so successful is the Fun Facts book that the Gideon people are putting them in hotel rooms in addition to the bible.
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS -- During the reading of the night's Fun Facts, our friend Regis Philbin steps in behind Dave.
REGIS: "Dave, sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to let you know that if you need Regis, he's standing backstage. Okay? DAVE: "Uh, okay." REGIS: "Great. Here if you need me, pal."
Dave finishes the fun facts, received by us from Gary Sherman of the Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous Information.
ACT 3:
Why is Regis really here? Dave says he is here to kill time waiting for a prescription to be filled.
JAMES FRANCO
James is living in New York working on his Masters of Fine Arts from Columbia and NYU. One assignment has him making a short film. One scene is about a guy watching other guys playing basketball, but in his eyes, the basketball players are naked. So, to film this scene James needed to find some guys willing to play basketball naked. He put a quick ad on the internet and got quite a few responses in a short time.
The next problem was James needed to find a location to shoot such a scene. A friend told him his parents had the perfect place in Westchester, maybe 40 minutes north of the city. It was secluded and out of the way. James had the players; he had the location. But when he got to the location, it wasn't secluded at all. The court was in plain sight of the neighbors. James quickly circled the cars and put up sheets to block the view of possible gawkers. James found his cast to be too willing and eager to do whatever was asked of them. He would have been more comfortable if the naked were less comfortable. But this is what you would expect in New York.
James' mom is a writer of children's books and has recently taken up acting to help her understand and develop the characters in her stories. She joined an improv group and ending up enjoying the experience. She stayed with it and now she is up for a role to play opposite Meryl Streep. Though proud of his mom, James thinks it came all too easy for her. It's not supposed to be like that. He wonders what happened to the years of struggle and doing without. Meryl Streep and mom? How did that happen?
James Franco's new film is entitled, "Milk", about the politically career of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man voted into public office in the United States when he was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977. He and the mayor were murdered by a fellow supervisor in 1978. Dave says he was living in California at the time but certainly didn't fully understand what was happening at the time. The film stars Sean Penn, who plays Harvey Milk. In one scene, Franco's character has to kiss Sean Penn's character . . . . a long long kiss. Of course, Franco's character is played by Franco and Penn's character is played by Penn, so Franco would be kissing Penn. James spent a lot of time trying to get his brain around what was about to take place. Never in his life did he dream that he would one day be kissing Spicoli ("Fast Times at Ridgemont High" -- 1982). The scene took place out on the street in front of 300 fans and crew. Yes, it was very awkward, but afterwards he was congratulated on doing such a great job. I don't know, is that a good thing? Dave thinks he would rather be known as a guy who isn't good at kissing guys. One thing leads to another and James offers, "I would be willing to kiss you right now." Wanting to appear 21st Century, Dave allows it. Off the top of my head, I can recall Dave being kissed by John Travolta and Dr. Phil, although I think it was Dave who kissed Dr. Phil . . . . . . and can you blame him!?
"Milk" -- opens Wednesday November 26th in select cities.
ACT 4:
Just as Dave is about to introduce Bruce McCall, Regis bursts in. REGIS: "OK, I quit! I really do. And I don't like that guy kissing you! I've never kissed you!" Regis leans over and kisses Dave, then exits.
Dave mutters, "I feel like a whore."
Regis has never kissed Dave before? Hmmm. From the February 14, 2008 Wahoo Gazette:
Regis pines to double date with Dave; Regis with his wife Joy, and Dave with Regina. Dining and dancing! Dave laughs at the thought. Dave then suggests, ‘How about this . . . you and I . . . we have Lyle (the intern) get us some babes.' Regis keeps urging and angling for a double date. Dave is less than enthusiastic. In fact, Dave is less than unenthusiastic. Regis persists. Dave looks at Regis. ‘You really want to go out dancing?' Dave gets up and takes Regis by the hand. Dave delicately walks Mr. Philbin on stage and they begin to dance cheek-to-cheek. So taken is Regis by the smooth-talker that he tries to steal a kiss from Dave . . . ON THEIR FIRST DATE!
Oh, in one of my database logs I had Regis and Dave kissing. Here, from the February Wahoo, it looks like Regis only TRIED to kiss Dave. It seems as if Regis and Dave did not kiss. What happened after the show, I have no idea.
BRUCE MCCALL
The very funny writer and illustrator has just published his first children's book, "Marveltown." He's been here before to promote his books, "The Last Dream-O-Rama: Cars Detroit Forgot To Build, 1950-1960" and "All Meat Looks Like South America." And you can frequently find his illustrations in "The New Yorker." And for you old-timers . . . . us old-timers . . . you may recall McCall in the National Lampoon. The dry and sarcastic Bruce McCall used to be a commercial artist and would do work for car companies. This was when illustrations were used to advertise automobiles rather than photographs. Bruce would draw up a print ad which would then be returned with suggestions. This would go back and forth until satisfaction was met. Bruce's favorite comment written across his illustration of a car with a family and their cocker spaniel: "Make dog smile." I guess that was to appeal to any cocker spaniel that was in the market for a car. Plus, how do you make a cocker spaniel smile? (make your own punchline)
McCall's new book, "Marveltown," is colorfully illustrated with odd but interesting images of sky-highways, airports of the future, the world's largest flying model, and the convenient dog-a-matic for school kids who forgot to do their homework.
I like my martinis dry. How dry? BruceMcCall-dry.
ACT 5: Announce: "Monday on the Late Show, Nicole Kidman, Simon Baker, and musical guest Kanye West. If you're looking for a career in late night television, the Late Show is holding auditions for a new announcer . . . .. hey, wait a second! This is how I find out? Screw you guys!
Yeah, we'll be right back."
ACT 7: THE ALLSTARZ: Concluding "Tribute Band Week" is The AllStarz perform a medley honoring the late, great James Brown.
And that was our show for Friday November 21, 2008.
Other Dave/Male kissing on the Late Show: John Travolta, Samuel Jackson, Al Franken, Chris Farley, Dan Rather, Roberto Benigni, Bryant Gumbel, Dick Weber, Borat, Regis, and Will Smith.
While watching Bruce McCall, I kept saying to myself that he sounded like someone familiar, and then it came to me . . . . . Bob Newhart.
My oven is broke. Doesn't work. The burners work but my oven won't turn on. I'll set if for 400, press the "start" button, it'll go on for 5 seconds, then shut off. We had a guy come in to take a look. He says it needs a part, which he doesn't have on him. He calls back a few days later and says the part will cost $500. Yikes What's the problem? He tells us the computer-part is busted. Now that's what gets me riled up. Why is there a computer in my oven? There is no need for a computer in an oven. When Denise and I moved in to our new house in 1999, the oven was new. I guess ovens are made to last 10 years now, is that it? The burners on the stove top had your basic on-off knobs. The oven had a flat panel in front with no buttons. You had to press the numbers on the panel to determine the temperature. And there were other designated spots on the flat panel to input the cooking time and to turn on the oven light and to choose between "bake" and "convection oven" and "broil" and "cleaning" and on and on. There are over 30 different designated locations on the flat panel to choose from. But all I need on an oven is a temperature dial and an "ON/OFF" switch. You know, the kind my mother used to have in the old house . . . . the oven that lasted 30 years . . . . yeah, you know the one. We all had one like that. You lit the oven with a match and it lasted 30 years. There was no computer. But my 1999 oven can't make it through 2008. This is progress? Talking to the "repair" man, he said the computer must have gotten wet. He said we shouldn't spill things on the oven. We probably spilled something on the oven. That's what he told us. I was expecting, "And keep you're your dishwasher dry. Water will ruin it in a minute."
I took a look at the oven manual. I couldn't believe all the things my oven could do. Amazing. Unfortunately, right now it can do nothing. Did you know my oven has a "Sabbath option"? Yeah, before the Sabbath, I can set the oven to turn on for later and then when I'm busy in prayer, it'll turn on by itself. Do I need that? NO! There is too much stuff going on with this oven. I like things simple. When things are simple, they are simple to fix. The more things something can do, the more things can break. And if a computer is involved, if one things breaks, the whole thing breaks. I remember fixing an oven 20 years ago with nothing but a vice-grip. That oven had 4 burner knobs and one oven knob. And it had one switch for the oven light. That was it. Simple. I replaced some oven coil that told the oven what the temperature was. I had the vice-grips in one hand and a DIY Fix-It book in the other. And I fixed it. The oven was 20 years old at the time and it's still running 20 years later. My new and improved state-of-the-art oven with a computer has lived its life after 10 years. It should be a great Thanksgiving.
Can you cook a turkey in a skillet?
Am I the only one amused at the politicians who are aghast at how the automakers are clueless, wasteful, pompous, and money-foolish? It reminds me of Captain Renault who was shocked to learn that gambling was going on at Rick's.
Here's something I like to do:
Slip the Monday New York Times crossword puzzle into my Friday New York Times and have people on the subway see me complete it.
Check it out: www.steppinoutradio.com -- the first 12-step meeting on the radio.
Great show this week. If you live in the New York area, you can find it Saturday night at midnight on ESPN, 1050-AM. Go to the site and find it in your city. Or listen to past shows online.
I used the phrase "caught to the quick" in yesterday's Wahoo and admitted to not knowing if I used it correctly. Then I couldn't find it in the Google and figured I had it wrong. I've been informed by many that it is not "caught to the quick" but "cut to the quick" Now that I see it, it seems very obvious. Of course, it's "cut to the quick." And I mentioned I remember hearing it spoken by Professor Marvel to Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Turns out, it wasn't Professor Marvel, but the Wizard (Frank Morgan both).
The Wizard promises Dorothy he will take her back to Kansas. Guarding against becoming too excited, she hopes, "Will you? Could you? But . . . are you a clever enough Wizard to manage it?"
The Wizard responds: "Child, you cut me to the quick! I'm an old Kansan man myself, born and bred in the heart of the western wilderness."
Some explanations from Wahoo readers:
Helen Read, Vermont: "The expression is ‘cut' to the quick, not caught. It comes from the idea of cutting your fingernails too short (all the way down to the quick), and I think we all know how painful that can be."
Wally Henneberry of Massachusetts: "I believe it is ‘cut to the quick'. I think it comes from cowboy or farming lingo. I remember an old episode of the Rifleman with Chuck Connors. Some con man put a nail in the hoof of a horse and after a while the horse would limp. Lucas McCain (Chuck Connors) figured it out and pulled out the nail saying, ‘After a while the nail reaches the quick and the horse will limp', meaning the horse will feel pain if the quick is cut."
Gerald Mayo of Illinois:"I've heard the phrase as ‘CUT to the quick' and always assumed that it was comparing the emotional pain of betrayal to the act of accidentally cutting one's nails too short ‘into the quick'."
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Huntington, Connecticut, having no wish to write an issue of the Wahoo Gazette, it's Patti Gordon.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
James Franco; Bruce McCall; and the AllStarz. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Late Show Fun Facts; and Regis!
" . . . and now, sophomore class treasurer . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1: Monologue:
"New York City has a raccoon problem. They're brazen. Today I saw one tackle a Chihuahua and take his sweater."
"Thanksgiving is next Thursday, or as it is known in my house: Competitive eating"
Great Moments in Presidential Speeches: Bush: "No border's been withdrawn . . . in that sense . . . stretch. It's uhh. . . . it's . . . . uhh . . . . Kosovo's uhh . . . . you know, Kosovo itself . . ."
ACT 2:
The "Late Show Fun Facts" book continues to gain accolades. It has now been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. And so successful is the Fun Facts book that the Gideon people are putting them in hotel rooms in addition to the bible.
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS -- During the reading of the night's Fun Facts, our friend Regis Philbin steps in behind Dave.
REGIS: "Dave, sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to let you know that if you need Regis, he's standing backstage. Okay? DAVE: "Uh, okay." REGIS: "Great. Here if you need me, pal."
Dave finishes the fun facts, received by us from Gary Sherman of the Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous Information.
ACT 3:
Why is Regis really here? Dave says he is here to kill time waiting for a prescription to be filled.
JAMES FRANCO
James is living in New York working on his Masters of Fine Arts from Columbia and NYU. One assignment has him making a short film. One scene is about a guy watching other guys playing basketball, but in his eyes, the basketball players are naked. So, to film this scene James needed to find some guys willing to play basketball naked. He put a quick ad on the internet and got quite a few responses in a short time.
The next problem was James needed to find a location to shoot such a scene. A friend told him his parents had the perfect place in Westchester, maybe 40 minutes north of the city. It was secluded and out of the way. James had the players; he had the location. But when he got to the location, it wasn't secluded at all. The court was in plain sight of the neighbors. James quickly circled the cars and put up sheets to block the view of possible gawkers. James found his cast to be too willing and eager to do whatever was asked of them. He would have been more comfortable if the naked were less comfortable. But this is what you would expect in New York.
James' mom is a writer of children's books and has recently taken up acting to help her understand and develop the characters in her stories. She joined an improv group and ending up enjoying the experience. She stayed with it and now she is up for a role to play opposite Meryl Streep. Though proud of his mom, James thinks it came all too easy for her. It's not supposed to be like that. He wonders what happened to the years of struggle and doing without. Meryl Streep and mom? How did that happen?
James Franco's new film is entitled, "Milk", about the politically career of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man voted into public office in the United States when he was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977. He and the mayor were murdered by a fellow supervisor in 1978. Dave says he was living in California at the time but certainly didn't fully understand what was happening at the time. The film stars Sean Penn, who plays Harvey Milk. In one scene, Franco's character has to kiss Sean Penn's character . . . . a long long kiss. Of course, Franco's character is played by Franco and Penn's character is played by Penn, so Franco would be kissing Penn. James spent a lot of time trying to get his brain around what was about to take place. Never in his life did he dream that he would one day be kissing Spicoli ("Fast Times at Ridgemont High" -- 1982). The scene took place out on the street in front of 300 fans and crew. Yes, it was very awkward, but afterwards he was congratulated on doing such a great job. I don't know, is that a good thing? Dave thinks he would rather be known as a guy who isn't good at kissing guys. One thing leads to another and James offers, "I would be willing to kiss you right now." Wanting to appear 21st Century, Dave allows it. Off the top of my head, I can recall Dave being kissed by John Travolta and Dr. Phil, although I think it was Dave who kissed Dr. Phil . . . . . . and can you blame him!?
"Milk" -- opens Wednesday November 26th in select cities.
ACT 4:
Just as Dave is about to introduce Bruce McCall, Regis bursts in. REGIS: "OK, I quit! I really do. And I don't like that guy kissing you! I've never kissed you!" Regis leans over and kisses Dave, then exits.
Dave mutters, "I feel like a whore."
Regis has never kissed Dave before? Hmmm. From the February 14, 2008 Wahoo Gazette:
Regis pines to double date with Dave; Regis with his wife Joy, and Dave with Regina. Dining and dancing! Dave laughs at the thought. Dave then suggests, ‘How about this . . . you and I . . . we have Lyle (the intern) get us some babes.' Regis keeps urging and angling for a double date. Dave is less than enthusiastic. In fact, Dave is less than unenthusiastic. Regis persists. Dave looks at Regis. ‘You really want to go out dancing?' Dave gets up and takes Regis by the hand. Dave delicately walks Mr. Philbin on stage and they begin to dance cheek-to-cheek. So taken is Regis by the smooth-talker that he tries to steal a kiss from Dave . . . ON THEIR FIRST DATE!
Oh, in one of my database logs I had Regis and Dave kissing. Here, from the February Wahoo, it looks like Regis only TRIED to kiss Dave. It seems as if Regis and Dave did not kiss. What happened after the show, I have no idea.
BRUCE MCCALL
The very funny writer and illustrator has just published his first children's book, "Marveltown." He's been here before to promote his books, "The Last Dream-O-Rama: Cars Detroit Forgot To Build, 1950-1960" and "All Meat Looks Like South America." And you can frequently find his illustrations in "The New Yorker." And for you old-timers . . . . us old-timers . . . you may recall McCall in the National Lampoon. The dry and sarcastic Bruce McCall used to be a commercial artist and would do work for car companies. This was when illustrations were used to advertise automobiles rather than photographs. Bruce would draw up a print ad which would then be returned with suggestions. This would go back and forth until satisfaction was met. Bruce's favorite comment written across his illustration of a car with a family and their cocker spaniel: "Make dog smile." I guess that was to appeal to any cocker spaniel that was in the market for a car. Plus, how do you make a cocker spaniel smile? (make your own punchline)
McCall's new book, "Marveltown," is colorfully illustrated with odd but interesting images of sky-highways, airports of the future, the world's largest flying model, and the convenient dog-a-matic for school kids who forgot to do their homework.
I like my martinis dry. How dry? BruceMcCall-dry.
ACT 5: Announce: "Monday on the Late Show, Nicole Kidman, Simon Baker, and musical guest Kanye West. If you're looking for a career in late night television, the Late Show is holding auditions for a new announcer . . . .. hey, wait a second! This is how I find out? Screw you guys!
Yeah, we'll be right back."
ACT 7: THE ALLSTARZ: Concluding "Tribute Band Week" is The AllStarz perform a medley honoring the late, great James Brown.
And that was our show for Friday November 21, 2008.
Other Dave/Male kissing on the Late Show: John Travolta, Samuel Jackson, Al Franken, Chris Farley, Dan Rather, Roberto Benigni, Bryant Gumbel, Dick Weber, Borat, Regis, and Will Smith.
While watching Bruce McCall, I kept saying to myself that he sounded like someone familiar, and then it came to me . . . . . Bob Newhart.
My oven is broke. Doesn't work. The burners work but my oven won't turn on. I'll set if for 400, press the "start" button, it'll go on for 5 seconds, then shut off. We had a guy come in to take a look. He says it needs a part, which he doesn't have on him. He calls back a few days later and says the part will cost $500. Yikes What's the problem? He tells us the computer-part is busted. Now that's what gets me riled up. Why is there a computer in my oven? There is no need for a computer in an oven. When Denise and I moved in to our new house in 1999, the oven was new. I guess ovens are made to last 10 years now, is that it? The burners on the stove top had your basic on-off knobs. The oven had a flat panel in front with no buttons. You had to press the numbers on the panel to determine the temperature. And there were other designated spots on the flat panel to input the cooking time and to turn on the oven light and to choose between "bake" and "convection oven" and "broil" and "cleaning" and on and on. There are over 30 different designated locations on the flat panel to choose from. But all I need on an oven is a temperature dial and an "ON/OFF" switch. You know, the kind my mother used to have in the old house . . . . the oven that lasted 30 years . . . . yeah, you know the one. We all had one like that. You lit the oven with a match and it lasted 30 years. There was no computer. But my 1999 oven can't make it through 2008. This is progress? Talking to the "repair" man, he said the computer must have gotten wet. He said we shouldn't spill things on the oven. We probably spilled something on the oven. That's what he told us. I was expecting, "And keep you're your dishwasher dry. Water will ruin it in a minute."
I took a look at the oven manual. I couldn't believe all the things my oven could do. Amazing. Unfortunately, right now it can do nothing. Did you know my oven has a "Sabbath option"? Yeah, before the Sabbath, I can set the oven to turn on for later and then when I'm busy in prayer, it'll turn on by itself. Do I need that? NO! There is too much stuff going on with this oven. I like things simple. When things are simple, they are simple to fix. The more things something can do, the more things can break. And if a computer is involved, if one things breaks, the whole thing breaks. I remember fixing an oven 20 years ago with nothing but a vice-grip. That oven had 4 burner knobs and one oven knob. And it had one switch for the oven light. That was it. Simple. I replaced some oven coil that told the oven what the temperature was. I had the vice-grips in one hand and a DIY Fix-It book in the other. And I fixed it. The oven was 20 years old at the time and it's still running 20 years later. My new and improved state-of-the-art oven with a computer has lived its life after 10 years. It should be a great Thanksgiving.
Can you cook a turkey in a skillet?
Am I the only one amused at the politicians who are aghast at how the automakers are clueless, wasteful, pompous, and money-foolish? It reminds me of Captain Renault who was shocked to learn that gambling was going on at Rick's.
Here's something I like to do:
Slip the Monday New York Times crossword puzzle into my Friday New York Times and have people on the subway see me complete it.
Check it out: www.steppinoutradio.com -- the first 12-step meeting on the radio.
Great show this week. If you live in the New York area, you can find it Saturday night at midnight on ESPN, 1050-AM. Go to the site and find it in your city. Or listen to past shows online.
I used the phrase "caught to the quick" in yesterday's Wahoo and admitted to not knowing if I used it correctly. Then I couldn't find it in the Google and figured I had it wrong. I've been informed by many that it is not "caught to the quick" but "cut to the quick" Now that I see it, it seems very obvious. Of course, it's "cut to the quick." And I mentioned I remember hearing it spoken by Professor Marvel to Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Turns out, it wasn't Professor Marvel, but the Wizard (Frank Morgan both).
The Wizard promises Dorothy he will take her back to Kansas. Guarding against becoming too excited, she hopes, "Will you? Could you? But . . . are you a clever enough Wizard to manage it?"
The Wizard responds: "Child, you cut me to the quick! I'm an old Kansan man myself, born and bred in the heart of the western wilderness."
Some explanations from Wahoo readers:
Helen Read, Vermont: "The expression is ‘cut' to the quick, not caught. It comes from the idea of cutting your fingernails too short (all the way down to the quick), and I think we all know how painful that can be."
Wally Henneberry of Massachusetts: "I believe it is ‘cut to the quick'. I think it comes from cowboy or farming lingo. I remember an old episode of the Rifleman with Chuck Connors. Some con man put a nail in the hoof of a horse and after a while the horse would limp. Lucas McCain (Chuck Connors) figured it out and pulled out the nail saying, ‘After a while the nail reaches the quick and the horse will limp', meaning the horse will feel pain if the quick is cut."
Gerald Mayo of Illinois:"I've heard the phrase as ‘CUT to the quick' and always assumed that it was comparing the emotional pain of betrayal to the act of accidentally cutting one's nails too short ‘into the quick'."
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Huntington, Connecticut, having no wish to write an issue of the Wahoo Gazette, it's Patti Gordon.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
